Newsletter #811

A very quiet issue tonight with a bit of opinion, info on the Hamburg game, a couple of requests and a stack of Blue(ish) humour to keep you going.

Time for some summer debates anyone?

Next game: to be announced


Why anyone would want to compile an ex Man U plc / Manchester City XI is beyond me – I wouldn’t have signed any of them.

However, Mark Sweeney needs to treat himself to a good reference book. Both Denis Law and Billy Meredith played for City before they took the 30 pieces of silver on offer at Man U. They both returned to City at the end of their careers.

I don’t know who his Barnes is in the centre of midfield – hopefully not Peter, who also started his career at Maine Road.

If Mark is determined to compile a squad he could add Billy Dale at full back, who joined the Blues from Old Trafford in 1931. He went on to make over 250 appearances for City before moving to Ipswich Town.

I’d happily settle for never seeing a list like this again.

Kevin Cummins (


I have had several phone calls over the last couple of days from the UK and from local Amsterdam Blues about train travel from Holland to Hamburg for the August 3 friendly. From Schipol Airport there are trains every hour and with two changes the journey takes around 6 hours.

From Amsterdam Centraal the 10.15 takes 5 hours arriving just after 15.00 and costs 85 Euros, returning from Hamburg at 23.45. There is a bar going but coming back, cannot promise.

See you there.

Bob Price (


I’ve heard that there is a bar in Boston, US, run by an ex-Manchester City player, but can’t find out where. Does anyone out there know where it is?

Tony Morrison (


Does anyone know if I will be able to get the end of season DVD in a US format?

Steven (


We have just heard that thieves last night broke into the trophy room at Manchester United plc. They managed to escape with a roll of red carpet and a tea urn.

A police spokesman said “we have come across this gang many times before – but they usually go for blue carpet. However, their usual source has dried up – getting rid of its old shoddy stock and upgrading to a new product based on a magnificent algerian/israeli blend of fibres.”

The nightwatchman (a grumpy, bitter and twisted red nosed scot) said “It’s just not fair – we’ve spent all this money and are let down by the independent timekeeping apparatus – where the delay added an extra 13 seconds allowing these scoundrels in.”

At the press conference, the main questions came from the Bolton reporters who wanted to know what a trophy cabinet was.

David Johnson (


In the best interests of all confused current Manchester United supporters, Nike have announced that next year the Man Utd kit will feature a reversible shirt, similar to the current England shirt. One side will feature the existing Man Utd home kit but, once reversed, will transform into the current Arsenal home kit.

This radical move is aimed specifically to pacify the Manchester United supporter who naturally expects his team to win all their home games and, at the very minimum, the Premiership. The new shirt will give the Man Utd supporter the opportunity to maximise his glory hunting potential by supporting whoever is likely to win the title.

The new shirts are expected to go on sale in the Manchester United strongholds of Hampshire, Surrey, Essex and Kent in the close season. For those supporters that are unable to wait that long they will be released to the genuine supporters of Malaysia, Papua New Guinea and Outer Mongolia within the next month.

Next season could also see Man Utd shirts featuring reversible Liverpool, Leeds, Chelsea and Boro kits depending on who is doing well at the time, although the plans for the Aston Villa reversible shirt have been scrapped since the appointment of Graham Taylor.

Rumors persist in a reversible Man Utd./Argentina shirt but these have yet to be confirmed by Man Utd. kit spokesmen.

Joe Ramsbottom (


A bloke on his way home from work in Leeds comes to a dead halt in traffic on Kirkstall Road, and thinks to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s moving.” He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks “Officer what’s the hold up?”

The officer replies: “It’s a Man U fan, he’s just so depressed about losing the Premiership to Arsenal, and been knocked out of Europe and the prospect of winning sweet FA all after mouthing off all season, he’s threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him, his mates are all laughing at him and he has never had a job, I’m walking around taking a collection for him.”

“Oh really?” says the bloke, “How much have you collected so far?”

“So far,” replies the policeman, “only about 1/2 a litre, but a lot of people are still siphoning.”

Don Barrie (


David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the kitchen department of a large department store.

“What’s that?” he asks.
“A Thermos flask,” replies the assistant.
“What does it do?” asks Becks.
The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next training session.

“Here, boys, look at this,” Beckham says proudly. “It’s a Thermos flask.” The lads are impressed. “What does it do?” they ask. “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,” says David. “And what have you got in it?” asks Roy Keane. “Two cups of coffee and a choc ice,” replies David.

I Thank You, Anorak (

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[1] What are MCIVTA’s publishing deadlines?

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[2] MCIVTA Back Issues and Manchester City Supporters’ home page is the unofficial Manchester City Supporters’ home page. Created in 1994, it is the longest running of the Manchester City related web sites. Back issues of MCIVTA are also hosted on the site.

[3] What is the club’s official web site?

The official club web site can be found at

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Manchester City FC recognises three supporters’ clubs: The “Official Supporters Club” (; the “Centenary Supporters’ Association” ( and “The International Supporters’ Club” (

[5] Where can I find out about the fans’ committee?

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[6] Where can I find information about our new stadium?

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[7] What match day broadcasts are available on the web?

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[8] Are City’s goals available on the net? has available for download, usually within 24-48 hours of a game being played, all the goals from City’s matches.

[9] What’s the music the teams run out to?

The music we ran out to at Maine Road during the 01/02 season was “Nightmare” by Brainbug and is available on the Positiva label.

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Newsletter #811