Newsletter #341

I feel I must apologise for creating MCIVTA and roping some friends into believing that they were helping to bring a little light into the lives of exiled Blues, when all along we’ve been producing a Trojan horse which drops merrily into your mailboxes and then delivers its twice-weekly cargo of gloom! This issues is alas, not going to break the mould.

To cap yet another disappointing display, there is now a rumour circulating that Bradbury is permanently injured – brilliant! There’s a match report, several matchviews, news of a spirited display by McVitee FC, lots of opinion and a Why Blue. Steve Bolton has also been assiduously collating info on the world-wide distribution of MCIVTA-ers – apparently we have a subscriber in Azerbaijan! Thanks to Steve for volunteering to get on top of this.

This one reaches 1,677.

MATCH REPORT – ‘LIVE’

QUEENS PARK RANGERS vs. MANCHESTER CITY, Sunday 26th October 1997

“We’re off to see the Wizard”

With an average height of 5ft 6″ and all dressed in yellow the Munchkins of Manchester City took the pitch on Saturday with a changed line up to face the wicked witch of the South – QPR.

Well in short we showed a lot of commitment but the fire power of the Italian army. In the first half a couple of chances came the way of Micheal Brown but he drilled them at the ‘keeper.

QPR won a free kick and Peter Stringfellow, deputising for Karl Ready, left our traditionally static defence standing to nod home. Then came that incident that makes you hate football and demand a third referee to adjudicate on close calls.

Bobby B was lured into a clumsy looking challenge and that cheating git Spencer did a pike with a triple tuck before hitting the deck. The ref was abysmal all game and he bought this like a cut price rolex from Harrods.

Have you noticed not only do we miss loads of penners, we never save any either (Dibs at Swindon last one?).

Two down half an hour gone. Well we’ve come back before but not today. On the stroke of half time Gio did that world class run that only he can do but curled the shot inches wide. “We needed that to go in” was muttered all around but the writing was on the wall.

Second half a few changes of personnel to add height! Jeff Whitley and Chris “honestly I’m a big centre forward at 5ft 10” Greenacre.

Actually both played ok. The team in general were ok as follows:

Margetson: not at fault for either goal.
Bobby: clumsy fool.
Wiekens: looked the part at the back – missing for the headed goal.
Kit: no howlers this week except – missing for the headed goal.
Edghill: wasted as left back – tactics!
Brannan: anonymous.
Horlock: ditto.
God: worked hard for 70 minutes, heart was in it, good to see.
Brown: ran, kicked, tackled, and managed a couple of shots.
McGoldrick: shouted a lot did nothing worthwhile.
Dickov: ran, tried, had a couple of chances – gave it his all.

Subs:
Whitley: several good challenges, didn’t get forward enough but good to see him back in the plans.
Greenacre: tried hard but doesn’t seem to have the physical presence.

Fans: fantastic, vocal, relentless and bloody funny. The match reports in the national papers paid tribute to our support so we shouldn’t be looking for a boycott or simply barrack. We kept going and to some extent so did the team.

Betrayal: the half time penalty competition was accompanied by those old favourites of ours Stan Bowles and Rodney Marsh. Now never mind losing us the league (not really) but Rod could have responded to the City fans and come over to our end for a spell but he totally ignored us. For me that is it. I was in the audience when he was on the panel for ‘Do I not like that’ and he gave the impression then that City meant nothing to him.

Next stop the emerald city otherwise known as Oxford.

MATCHVIEW I

I’ve been a City Fan for 31 years now which is a hell of a long time and one of my pleasures is to watch those famous blue shirts run out onto the pitch. I’m prepared to accept that we have an ‘away’ strip and enjoy the sight of that just as much. Recently I’ve heard much comment about how the players have no pride in pulling on the colours of the mighty MCFC, much of it coming from MCIVTA and I was secretly hoping that the powers that be at Maine Road might take note and do something about it. Imagine my surprise when the team ran onto the pitch at QPR wearing yellow and black! At last some action by the management, they must be listening to the fans. Yellow for cowardice in the face of the enemy and Black for treachery. Someone sat next to me commented that they looked like they had bought them this morning down Shepherd’s Bush market! What is going on? Is it a ploy to introduce a new strip and con us out of another forty quid? Are we following the path of the dark ones from the Swamp?

Anyway enough of the strip and onto the match itself. Initial impressions that it may be Wolves were put right when it became apparent they were indeed City players out on the pitch. FC played his master stroke by putting Brown on as number 9; I have thought that we should give the young uns a run out for some time, but in their position would have been nice. Martyn M played well and could not be blamed for either goal, indeed the QPR number 4 obligingly pointed to where he wanted the ball placing. They put it there and he nodded it in, where were our defence? Stood around with their fingers up their bums that’s where. The second goal was a disputed penalty; from where I was sitting it certainly looked as though their number 7 dived. The ref was something else; twice the QPR goalkeeper carried the ball out of the area, twice it was ignored. Blues were generally quiet although we did manage to raise the rafters a few times popular chants were ‘It’s like watching paint dry’, ‘We never win at home and we never win away, MCFC OK’ and the good old ‘We’re going to win the league’. Man of the match has to go to Paul ‘Mr. 100%’ Dickov (I love the guy, can we have 4 more please? Except taller).

Once again we lacked commitment, skill and speed – whatever happened to the fittest team in the league? If I was Manager I’d play Dickov and Gio up front; they cause chaos in the box, Gio is best going forward and 2 players hounding the defence would give us an edge. Gio in midfield is a waste of time, he doesn’t tackle and his runs are too long. But I’m not so I can’t. I’m still convinced that individually most of the team have the skill to win but we appear to lack the will. FC has inherited a squad that is high on quantity and medium on quality and has a lot of work to do before we are ready for promotion. Things could turn round and we can still go up, but realistically we need to strengthen the squad, get rid of the dross, find a captain and bring on some younger players before we can even contemplate life in the Premier.

MATCHVIEW II – WE ONLY SING WHEN WERE LOSING

Sorry could not resist this. Watched the blues or yellows or bumblebees for the first time this season via cable TV with my 5 brainwashed boys all who have been brought up or born here in Perth Australia and all apart from one went to bed at various stages throughout the second half. It reminded me of Maine Road as fans got more disgusted and started leaving the match early, how am I going to keep them supporting City?

City started confidently, neat passing, reasonable movement off the ball, a few close efforts at goal without seriously troubling their ‘keeper. Genuine reasons for optimism, no recognised forward but lots of possession and of course Kinky. Then my mind went back to all the reports I have been reading on MCIVTA. City dominate first 10-20 minutes, don’t score, other team manages to draw or win! I started to become a bit edgy, especially when QPR had their first attack and City’s back four was all over the show.

The inevitable happened and there long haired Aussie looking surfy centre half scored with an unchallenged header from about the penalty spot. Margetson had no chance. On the replay I noticed Brannan was marking the scorer and actually ducked as the ball came in. As QPR’s forwards are all midgets why wasn’t Symons marking the scorer? Even Alan drone drone Brazil, commented on a lack of organisation in City’s defence, how observant of you Alan!

City looked just like me on the settee (decidedly edgy) and were repeatedly caught flat footed at the back and lacking in pace. Having said this I thought Wiekens was looking OK then the MCIVTA reports came back to me again; the 2 most common features in all of City’s games this season has been the overwhelming criticism of Symons and Brightwell and of course they were both playing or present. Then of course the 2nd inevitability happened, when Bob should have jockeyed Spencer he closes him down allowing Spencer to do his bit and claim, justifiably a pen.

Kinky should have scored just before half time but managed to mesmerise their back four and himself; christ he had done all the hard work, but I shouldn’t complain City always miss half a dozen chances a half! Apologies, I am comtemplating what to say about the second half but these negative thoughts keep going through my mind.

Well of course we failed to score despite their goalie’s efforts to assist us, if only Dickov would have taken his time in the first half, if only Brown would have taken his time with 2 good chances…?

Why are Kit and Bob playing, Symons couldn’t pass wind, as he so expertly showed how to consistently give the ball to the opposition all throughout the second half. FC really needs to get the defence sorted, keep Wiekens as sweeper and 2 of either, the new unpronounceable named defender FC mentioned prior to the game, Morley, Vaughan, Beesley anybody other than Krap and Boob, then we may stop giving soft goals away. I know this will not totally sort out our problems but it’s a start.

Inevitability number 3 is Kinky leaving, he is a genius but totally wasting away with us. Let’s sell him now so we can the cash can be used to keep us in this division (God I never thought I’d say that this year).

As I leave the house each morning going to work I shout “Up the Blues” and a chorus of 5 boys’ voices pronounce “down the Reds”; after watching last night will they ever write a “Why Blue – cos my Dad told me to”? Please keep the faith, come on you Blues…

MATCHVIEW III

“We love you Kelloggs, we do”

I should have known the omens weren’t good after geeing myself up for a couple of early morning pints only to arrive at the Bushranger Pub, as mentioned in MCIVTA, at 11.30 to find that they weren’t serving until midday. Just what is it with the licensing laws in this country? We open the pub at 11.00 but we’ll only sell you tea and bloody coffee for the first hour. Unbelievable, even little old NZ can do better than that folks.

Anyway after a rushed pint and a half me, my girlfriend, and a couple of mates from Kiwiland headed off to the game. I should point out that my girlfriend has been to 12 City matches now and hasn’t seen us win, so maybe it’s all down to the prescence of “The Curse” that we lost. Or maybe it was because we’re s***e… hmmm the latter sounds more plausible.

So on to the game. I won’t go in to great detail about it as I’m sure other correspondents will do a better job than me. I always seem to be half p****d at games and am too busy crapping myself that the opposition will score to register who passed to who in the 18th minute. The main points of the game as I saw them were:

1. Dickov, Kinkladze, Wiekens, and Margetson all played reasonably well anddon’t deserve to be criticised I reckon. Dickov ran his arse off (as usual)and fought and battled all day long. Kinkladze was the only player on thepitch who looked like he’d score, even if we played all afternoon. The onlycreative spark we have. Anyone who recommends selling him wants their headreading. Wiekens played excellently at the back and Margetson wasn’t toblame for either of the goals.
2. The “young guns” of Michael Brown, Whitley, and even Greenacre (on assub) all got a run and provided much more bite to the team. Having saidthat Brown was playing up front as number 9 and surprisingly didn’t lookcomfortable in that position. Of course we do have loads of overpaidstriking talent (?) on the bench or on loan but let’s play a young lad whohasn’t been in the first team for a while up front instead! The young guysplayed OK, the best thing was that City showed a lot more fight than oflate. We lost, and to be frank we never looked like winning this game, butat least went down fighting.
3. The defence looked appalling, Symons and Brightwell played howlers(sound familiar?), the midfield largely didn’t string more than two passestogether, and we never looked like scoring up front all afternoon. It’sgoing to be a long, hard season folks, as if you didn’t know, and arelegation battle is a distinct possibility. The simple fact is half ourplayers are sub-standard.
4. John Spencer is a dirty, cheating dwarf b*****d who totally dived fortheir penalty. It was straight in front of me and there was no way it wasanything other than a dive… so we only deserved to lose 1-0!
5. The ref was a f*****g disgrace letting their back four get away withshirt-pulling and fouls all day. Though I hasten to add we can’t blame theresult on him.
6. …and yes we played in yellow, yes yellow! Reminded me of thelast time we wore that colour and lost 4-0 at Arsenal. Having said that itlooked quite good… is it on sale?

So all in all a better day out that most of our games recently but overall the team is still performing to a shadow of its ability. Half time was quite fun for a change with QPR’s match-day sponsors (Cheerios and Shredded Wheat) leading to chants of “We love you Kelloggs, we do” and other such hilarity. Once again the support was fantastic, it’s the only thing that makes you proud to be associated with City at present. And the verdict from the other attendees I went with? Well here’s a selection of comments:

“The Curse strikes again!”… “Why do City always pass it to the other team?”… “Why don’t they go forward insted of to the side or back?”… “City don’t seem to have anyone playing up front” and “Chris Greenacre looks 15” (he does!). Answer these if you can Frank!

Oh and the BushRanger was closed after the match too, probably another obscure English drinking law! Roll on the All Blacks so a Lomu inspired demolition of England means I can get back at all those people taking the p**s out of my football team at work.

NEWS – VENABLES

I READ IT TODAY ON THE AUSSIE NET

SOCCEROO coach Terry Venables could quit Australia’s top soccer post if he receives an offer from an English club. Venables, who has taken Australia to the brink of its first World Cup appearance since 1974, yesterday said he would be prepared to discuss any offers from English teams.

“I’d be interested in talking about it,” Venables said. “Anything that’s within the rules I’d be prepared to consider. I hope to go on coaching for a long time. I’m always open to offers and I won’t close my mind to anything.”

Soccer Australia chairman David Hill said he was not surprised there was interest in Venables’ services, but said there was “no doubt” he would see out Australia’s World Cup assault. “Terry Venables is one of the very best in the world,” Hill said. “If you were looking for a top coach you’d go for Venables … he’s worth a hell of a lot more than we’re paying him.”

Hill said Venables had discussed other offers with him, most recently a coaching offer from Benfica in Lisbon, Portugal. “He will stay as coach up to and including the World Cup … obviously he has to look at life beyond the World Cup,” Hill said.

Hill said Venables was contracted until the end of the World Cup.

“Even if he had the flexibility to, Terry wouldn’t walk away. He never walks away from a commitment. He is a decent, honorable bloke.”

RUMOUR – BRADBURY

A rumour is circulating that Bradbury has arthritis and that when the news is confirmed by City, heads will fall. If this turns out to be true, I consider that it would be beyond farce and that Lee should immediately resign. Not only is it gross mismanagement to the point of negligence, it is also a shameful waste of such a large sum for a player whose pedigree was never established. Apart from that it amounts to throwing away my money and that of thousands of other City fans who wonder why, with such loyal support, City are rapidly moving into a Division 1 relegation fight.

Wake up all true City fans! The management of our great club from top to bottom is shameful – you only have to witness the fiasco with Colin Bell and countless other simliar incidents to witness this. Until we have people who really know what they are doing managing our great club we will remain in nowhere land and become (if we aren’t already) the 5th club of Manchester. Look at what the likes of Wimbledon and similar low budget clubs have achieved. Ask yourselves – why is that?

MCVITEE FC vs. ACCRINGTON STANLEY BOWLES – THANKS

The first McVitee away game was played on Sunday morning against ASB at a sun soaked Wormwood Scrubs. Col Surrey is gonna do a match report so I won’t spoil his fun, I’d just like to say thanks to those who managed to turn up:

Playing Side:

Steve Walker, Jamie Goode, Thomas Bubendorfer, Russ, Myself(!), Col Surrey, Andy Brookfield, Stewart Huxtable, Steve, Ian and finally Chris a cockney Rag (now that’s a surprise!) who stepped in to play as we were short of players!

Supporters:

Alex and Chris

Apologies:

My apologies go to Russ, Steve, Andy and Col for having a great idea of moving our cars, then getting lost and eventually finding the ground 15 minutes after ko. Sorry lads, next time I’ll leave the car where it is!

MATCH REPORT – MCVITEE FC

Here’s the gory story of early Sunday…

MCIVTA FC vs. ASB (QPR Internet)

A game of two halves – probably the best way to look at it!

It’s Sunday morning – as is not unusual in the Wookie household I’m just a tad under the weather so to speak (Saturday night’s drinks ban being observed Summerbee style!) and attitude not that much improved by the battle across the urban nightmare that is London to pick up another MCIVTA mug who in a fit of enthusiasm has volunteered his services to the cause.

The first thing of note is the “McVittee” 11 is actually a McVittee 10 and a youngster (Ian’s son?) and in a fit of helpfulness the QPR captain supplies us with a Rag (sporting a blue scum top and cockney accent naturally!) to make up the numbers. “I’d rather kick him than the ball” mutters an unnamed member of the Blue squad, and I know how he felt!

The team lined up as follows…

                             Steve W
Jamie G          Thomas B            Russ J           Martin F
Colin S            Stuart H              The Scum      Ian
                       Andy B                Steve B

The game kicks off with the Blues playing uphill. Facing one of the most organized teams in Internet circles – numbered kit and not a beer belly in sight! (although someone had buggered up the washing as “the super hoops” had become the super hoops and blue blotches!) – the internet blues held out for nearly 20 minutes. Not bad for a team, most of whom had met for the first time 15 minutes before kick off. And then the goal that was beginning to threaten arrived. 1-0 to QPR. The ASB lads we’re now well into their stride, they are a team that play together on a fairly regular basis and it showed. Apart from a few breaks most of the remainder of the half was spent with our backs to wall as neat passing sliced up the City midfield and defence to the tune of 3 more goals by half time. The only bright spot was that ASB hadn’t quite got the hang of the superb offside trap that began to become extremely effective towards the end of the first half. It was a slightly shellshocked City Internet team that gathered for the half time team talk 4-0 down.

A slight re-jig of the team and a man for man marking job on their no.16 saw a much more even start to the second half and after 15 minutes some neat interplay from Steve and Ian up front saw Ian break loose of his marker to slot in the start of a spirited comeback. 4-1 now the score and the dreaded duck avoided. As the offside trap began to bite and some slack shooting from ASB began to creep in it was against the run of play that they achieved a fifth goal with a bizarre o.g. – Not far into our own half Jamie G intercepted a long ball forward with a mis-placed volley which looped directly at our keeper Steve, who thinking it would be ruled a back pass, attempted to head it off the line, only to help it into the back of the net. We’ll leave it to the two lads to argue about who wants to claim it! 5-1.

The comeback then began in earnest – Col Surrey headed wide from an Andy Brookfield corner, and Ian teed up a Brooky 25 yard piledriver which came back agonisingly off the underside of the bar. The Rag (Chris I think) chose that moment to make his mark on the game with a 35 yard chip into the top corner of the net (it was a cross but it looked good!). 5-2 and well deserved. Ian shot wide and more chances went begging with ASB struggling to find their shooting boots at our end of the pitch. Route 1 was the order of the day as time ran out and gaps appeared in the ASB defence – Ian was put clean through to slot home his second of the game. 5-3 now. It was just a matter of time surely… Unfortunately though time was something we didn’t have and the final whistle blew a minute or so later; we had lost 5-3. Even so what threatened to be a whitewash early doors turned into a thoroughly enjoyable match which with more organization at the start would have been even closer. Sky would have been better advised showing our game!

0-4 in the first half and 3-1 in the second, or even 4-0 since we score all of them :o) is the way I prefer to look at it!

Looking forward to the re-match on home turf…

Cheers to all the lads that played, to Martin for the organization, along with Steve Papps on the QPR list.

Team photo to appear shortly on the McVittee site… http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Arena/1771/

SUBSCRIBER INFORMATION

Just for the sake of interest, here are the data collected regarding MCIVTA subscribers around the world. I have the location of approximately 32% of subscribers; I will contact those whose whereabouts are not known to me soon. The following list demonstrates that MCIVTA really does span the globe; the number after the location is simply the number of subscribers in that area.

Australia      25       Azerbaijan       1       Canada            11
Channel Isles   1       China            1       Cyprus             2
Denmark         2       Egypt            1       England          306
Fiji            1       Finland          7       France             3
Georgia         1       Germany          4       Holland            8
Hong Kong       4       Indonesia        2       Eire              16
Israel          3       Japan            2       Malaysia           1
Malta           1       New Zealand      8       Norway            12
Oman            1       Papua N' Guinea  1       Turks and Caicos   1
Saudi           1       Scotland        15       Singapore          3
South Africa    6       Sweden          13       Switzerland        1
Thailand        2       Turkey           1       Uruguay            1
USA            47       Vietnam          1       Wales             10

Subscription is growing at a reasonably consistent rate of approx. 10 per week.

STEVE KAY’S REFEERING QUESTION – NUMBER 2

From: Division One Statistics and Leagues for Anoraks (DOSLA). Compiled by Steve “Statto” Kay.

Last week’s Question 1:

Just as a player from team A is about to shoot on goal, you look round and notice team A’s goalkeeper clearly punch team B’s No 9 in the face, in the other penalty area. You look back and team A score. What do you award, and why.

Answer: If the ball has not crossed the goal-line when the incident occured, the ball is still in play. Therefore you would dissallow the goal, send off goalkeeper A for violent conduct, and award a penalty to team B. If however the goal was scored before the incident took place, as the ball is out of play, you would award a goal, send off goalkeeper A, and team B would then restart the game from the centre spot.

This week’s Question 2:

As the teams walk towards the pitch before the game, you clearly see the Rovers No 10 punch the Athletic No 6. Explain what action you would take, if any?

THERE’S HOPE YET!

I feel I must apologise to all those loyal Blues out there. I am a former regular season ticket holder who has been working in Cairo for the past 4 years. Since I haven’t been there, in person anyway, I have read about our club going from good (well OK) to the obviously appalling state it is in now. For this I feel responsible – just maybe if I had stayed we would now be kings of Europe? I’d like to offer this smidgin of hope: I’ll be back next season when I’m sure the Parkside lager will taste better and once again we will be a top force, or at least I like to think so.

NICE SHIRT?

A shirt seen this Saturday… unknown if Rag or Blue.

“Nice Kit”
“Same Shit”
“M.C.F.C.”

COMMENTS ABOUT FRANK CLARK

I certainly stirred up a hornets nest with my comments about Frank Clark’s job being on the line, and his relationship with Uwe Rösler.

After reading the pro-Clark comments in MCIVTA and in the e-mails I have received directly (why not send them to MCIVTA so everyone can read them?), I would like to publicly withdraw the comments!

You are quite right that the last thing we need is a repeat of last year. You are quite right that we need stability, etc. Forgive me, please, but after watching the s***e performance against Reading I was so depressed, probably because I had just parted with 25 pounds to watch the same at QPR and Oxford, my brain was mashed. What upsets me most though, is that I think we have enough young, enthusiastic talent at this club to get us out of the s**t in the short-term, and they should be given a chance now. They cannot do any worse than the time-wasters we have at present.

I am writing this piece on Saturday night before the QPR match. I read today that FC plans to include Brown, Morley and Greenacre in the squad, as well as Rösler. If that is the case, then great, I am happy. I don’t mind watching my team lose, if they have all given 100%. But it’s ironic to say the least that our only wins this season have been aginst the two teams in first and second place! We have therefore proved we can beat the best, it’s just that we cannot beat the rest!

I have not done a report for the Stoke game. All I have to say is that I was one of those sat silently in the Kippax. It was like déjà vu. City look good for 20 minutes but fail to score, the crowd become anxious, players lose confidence, the crowd start booing players and the inevitable happens. The Swindon game was the only home game so far that we scored in the first 15 minutes, and look what happened.

I have said before and I will say it again, it is counter-productive to boo players during the game. This will not make a player play better, and it also gives the away team a massive boost. I know he had a bad game, but can you imagine how Neil Heaney felt after being cheered off against Stoke. It was if the crowd took an instant dislike to the lad, and taunted him at the first opportunity. He will probably never want to play at Maine Road again after that reception, which is probably the point the fans intended to make.

Just think about the damage you are doing before you boo a player in future!

SLEEPING GIANT?

In my last email I described City as a sleeping giant; well I correct that as our giant is now definitely comatose, and it looks as if we will be getting out of division one, either by going up or going down, with the latter looking a better bet. Seriously, I have always believed that it is not that difficult to gain promotion from division one, the difficult part is staying in the Premiership once there, e.g. Bolton and Barnsley this season and last. So no team needs to spend a fortune to get out of division one, but they do need to spend millions to stay in the Premiership. If our aim is to get out of this division (preferably through promotion) we need a team of battlers, and with the number of pro footballers on City’s books surely it cannot be that difficult to attain. Set your stall out Frank, or pack up and go home.

CONCILEO ET LABORE?

After a piece in MCIVTA (I think), I bought a classic City shirt from TOFFS.

It’s not laser blue, but a beautiful blue replica of the 40s and 50s with white collar, similar in style to a rugby shirt.

The embroidered City badge has the Latin motto “Concileo et Labore” for which I would welcome a translation if anyone out there has it.

Otherwise today’s squad could pay heed to my version which is: “For God’s sake shout for each other and work harder.”

Let’s hope for another Forest-type result at Loftus Road.

Incidentally do you realise that City won the F.A. Cup in 1956 – in red and white shirts?

WORST EVER TEAM

It was hard to disagree with many of the selections in the ‘worst ever team’ article published last week, just a little embarrassing that several of the choices were in the current squad.

Dibs – no real contest there for the ‘keeper’s jersey but poor old ‘Steppy’ Stepanovic as full back, bad ‘tache I agree but better in the tackle than Gidman or probably Bob.

Fonzy just beats Phelan for a place on the other flank but what about Brian Gayle in the centre alongside Futcher-pass-back?

Alfons Groenendijk could stake a claim for a midfield spot whilst Tony Adcock and the brief appearance of Chris Jones could challenge up front. Summerbee should be hard coded into anyone’s plans.

An easier way to select the worst ever team is to look at the end of the match report from our recent games and read out those names listed under Man City and miss out that complicated Georgian name.

THE DEMISE OF THE DOLLYS

What has happened to this once great team where you could rely on players to have the balls, guts and intestinal fortitude to walk over hot coals in bare feet to play for the Academy?

How can a team of so-called professionals attract the salaries they do and the crowds that continue to turn up and yet play so pathetically? What happened to the halcyon days of Buzza, Nijinsky, Doyle, Booth, Pardoe and dare I say Franny? Does one start to question if the common denominator might be the latter? Times are difficult enough with the Lambeth Loonies shooting off without us adding fuel to the fire. It may come as no surprise that even in the far flung reaches of the antipodean island continent of Australia, we “True Blues” have to suffer the slings and arrows of the “Ford Bandwaggoners” boring it up us as they wallow in their armchair support of the “What’s football got to do with it, buy the shirt every month, subscribe to the cable T.V. and don’t try to get into the ground unless you’re a cockney” football team. Come on guys, give us a break. Somebody find a cracker, or maybe eleven, and insert them in the ar…..es of these overrated prima-donnas, ignite it and perhaps the rocket might spur them into action. Spare a thought for those of us in the penal colonies, or perhaps reintroduce transportation and send them down under where their standard may be more on a par. Desperately seeking an improvement in form before the start of the soccer season down here so that we don’t have to continue to be subjected to the abuse and derision of the satellite Rags.

OPINION – GIO

So Ken Foster thinks we should sell Gio and buy `a quality midfield player` – what the hell does he think Gio is, a donkey? I can see some of the reasoning behind letting him go, but on balance you get no-where selling your best players (ask Burnley fans, among others), and in any case it doesn`t look like we can trust the present management with the money.

OPINION – PRIDE COMES BEFORE A WIN

Well it’s been a long time since I’ve put my feelings into print, but like a lot of you out there I “cannie take any more”. He are my feelings (or lack of them now) for you all.

The team? Well, they aren’t are they? Not one of them would walk across the road to p*** on the others if they were on fire… or that’s the feeling I get. How can we sit there and ask them to give a flying fig about the club/fans/shirts (delete as you feel) when they do not seem to give a **** about the people they are with week in, week out. They seem not to even care about how their own game is, let alone anyone else! Week in, week out they show that they have contempt for everything and eveyone connected with the club. How has this happened? IMHO it’s down to money… not the lack of it as in transfer kitty, but too much in their pockets! If the team was paid on results they’d all starve to death!

While we are locked into long-term contracts where “players” are paid Premiership wages for second division performances then we are, as they say, f****d. What can we do about someone like Buzzer who when his contract is coming up, starts to play like we all (fans and management) know he can play, then gets what he wants (new contract, more money) and then sits back and says “I don’t give a s*** about you all and it will cost you to get shut?” Answer…. get shut! Now before you all jump to your keyboards to tell me what a muppet I am, just give me a second longer. Sell him and Kinky now before it’s too late, sell the 5-8 other players who are not giving 70% let alone 100%. I know this will cost us, I know about contracts that give “players” cash if we sell them before they want to go (and who would want to leave easy street?), but we are losing money anyway. We are bleeding to death day by day anyway! Sell them, get them off our wage bill, the money we will get for Kinky will help to offset some of the losses. Now what you are asking, we got rid of a chunk of our squad and had to pay out millions that we don’t have? Well my answer is this.

We are at this time going nowhere except down, we all know this. We keep hearing that we cannot play our promising young players “because there are too many older players in their way.” Well now we can. We would have a team who will have pride in themselves, passion in the game as they are still hungry and be totally committed to each other and therefore the club and us! The wage bill should then be a flat rate for every single player and topped up with win/goal/clean sheets/promotion bonuses so they earn what they get.

This would (a) mean young players would want to come to us as they would know they would get a chance (b) cut our wage bill (c) give us a team to be proud in and even if we fail to stay up, give the younger players experience that they wouldn’t get playing in the reserves. We could not be any worse off than we are!

Next up, FC/FHL

Do we sack any, both, none of them? Here are the facts as I see them. Get rid of FC. This would mean a complete change of staff again and another 1-5 year plan from the nutter who took over (and they would have to be off their heads). Now if all you want to do is live in hope then do it, but I cannot see anything good that would come of this. Yes, some of Frank’s buys have not worked out, but even Taggart bought Cole! No, I say stick with him for 12-18 months more. Sack the board. Well we have this every year (just like Christmas) don’t we? Yes get them out… but replace them with who and then they will want to have their own men in place so see above!

We are in the s*^t big time, but that is down to ‘players’; I say if you have a tumour cut it out or die!

Well that’s that; I’ll now make a strong cup of coffee and await you all to tell me I’ve lost it… but that’s what makes MCITVA the best.

OPINION – ROY KEANE

In (belated) response to Eoin Darcy, I can’t say I’m delighted that he’s got what is probably a very bad and painful injury. I’m glad he’s out though, since it will mean less of the Rags’ opposing players will get injured when he ‘gets stuck in’ (i.e. puts the boot in) whilst displaying his ‘passion’. Let’s face it, he may be a good midfielder but he’s a dirty b*****d and as long as he’s out of action there will be a few less players suffering a similar fate. He displays the same ‘passion’ on the field as he (allegedly) did when he (allegedly) threatened his neighbour with a knife. Maybe we do need more players that get stuck in, but we can live without a d**kh**d like Keane.

OPINION – WELL, IT COULD BE WORSE!

What with one thing and another the Stoke game was only my second this season in my own seat. The company I work for has one of the boxes in Platt Lane and a couple of tables in the exec suite. So I had to do the corporate hospitality stuff. While I much prefer a couple of beers in the Parkside beforehand the great thing is that I can watch the whole match in total oblivion while somebody else pays for the food and booze!

I missed the Reading game due to some more corporate hospitality but this time at my host’s expense while watching Wrexham vs. Burnley. One of the guests was a fanatical Burnley supporter, goes to all the games and manages to make his customer calls to coincide with their away games and get his petrol paid for. Anyway, this chap was telling me how Gerry Creaney was a reformed player now that Chris Waddle and Glen Roeder he sorted him out. I was told he was a stone or so lighter and was really up for it. Well I couldn’t wait for this, I thought at last this is the answer to our dreams, Gerry Creaney putting them in for us every week.

The dream was soon shattered though, so don’t get excited – he’s no better at all. The nightmare scenario though was that if supporters in that division thought he was good – well it could be worse (for us).

Another thought. If we have between 43 and 57 professionals, the numbers banded about seem to vary but we must have a lot, why doesn’t FC just try them – all together if he wants – and let’s see what some keen young enthusiastic lads can do. At the very least they will take pride in the shirt. I think this stubborness and also FC’s treatment of Uwe tells us an awful lot about his management style. Any of us who have been in a position of managing people knows that whatever style of management you use to get the best for your organisation through effective use of the people you have at your disposal, also knows that there are times, hopefully few, when you cannot sacrifice performance simply because of good management practice (or your own practice) alone. A way must be found and compromises must be made. Victorian times are long gone and so are the practices that go with them thankfully. But this means all of us, and this includes FC, must work smarter using all the skills good managers have including the persuasiveness one needs to achieve the best from the team.

On the way home from the Stoke game I heard FC being interviewed on GMR. Stuff like the answer lies in the dressing room and we have no money were trotted out. “What can I do?” he said! I couldn’t quite believe my ears, this was our manager speaking.

What can he do? Well, an apology to the fans would have made a good start.

OPINION – IT MUST HAPPEN SOON

Why should 26,000+ fans, and those who continue to stay away, suffer the years of decline and waste any longer? Most of us are living in the past – it is years since MCFC were a big club. The gulf between Premier and Nationwide teams is growing sharply and unless MCFC return to the Premier pronto they may find the gulf too wide. Quality players will not want to play in the lower leagues. We have the potential to be a big club again only because of the fans who pay the wages week in, week out. Something has to happen and it has to happen quickly. So what can be done? Offload the run of the mill players, give the youngsters a chance and spend what money there is on quality players before it is too late. Another season in the Nationwide league could be the point of no return.

OPINION – QPR DÉBÂCLE

It takes a lot for me to put fingers to keyboard like this, but having just thrown fifteen quid away I think I need to vent my spleen.

Loftus Road was the venue, QPR were the ‘opponents’, and City’s spare kit made us look like the wasps that share QPR’s ground, with its huge crowd of 14,500 (yes I know it was live on Sky, but it was near-enough full).

I took my mate (who’s a Derby supporter, so used to watching crap), as he couldn’t believe City were so god-awful as I keep making out. For that I can thank City this time, they were worse than crap. I’ve seen some drivel, but this took the p***.

I can’t describe the match (words fail me, and it’ll have been done already in these pages), so I’ll just tell you a few unbaised comments from a Derby fan (all quotes).

1. “Who’s that useless b*****d over there?” Oh him, er, that’s ourcaptain actually, Sean… ‘Well he’s a lazy git. Never ******gtackles, does he? … Makes long runs well enough, but leaves gapingholes behind him.’ Er, quite. Yes, Kit, it was me yelling at you toget the armband off…
2. “What’s the reserve team goalie’s name and does he command thebox like this, or are the reserves going down as well?”
3. “Where is City’s defence, or is that it? It’s a ******g shambles.”
4. “If you carry on like this, and get that new stadium, a seconddivision side will have the biggest ground capacity in the league…”
5. “***k me this is awful. Why do you keep coming?”
6. “Will anyone who’s not in a 10 or 11 shirt get the ball anddo something with it for a change?”

Anyway, just a Derby fan’s 2p worth. For myself, I was seriously considering refusing to go until they start playing some football and stop taking the p*** like they are now. It’s a ******g disgrace and why we should pay these tossers’ wages any longer is beyond me. Some of us (me, 25,000 other people, Dickov and Kinky) work for this. Others, through circumstance, can’t. Some just won’t, and still they pull on a City shirt and pocket the ******g cash.

Don’t think we can’t be relegated. We’re out of our depth again and unless it changes pretty bloody sharpish we’re out of Div. 1, and downwards. I will not go again.

Oh OK, just Oxford. We’ll beat Oxford (won’t we?).

OPINION – GEOFF DONKIN – OH WELL, THERE GOES MY UNBEATEN SKY RECORD

(I’m counting the 90 minute score against Blackpool in the CC Cup as a win in this instance).

It was a frustrating game to watch though if I’ve read the Reading and Stoke reports correctly then it was an improved performance. We seem to be stuck in one of those ruts where nothing goes right; on a good day the ref might not have given the penalty (Brightwell obviously felt aggrieved enough to get himself booked); on a good day someone would have picked up their centre half Ready to block his free header on goal for their first; on a good day we’d have murdered QPR on their showing as they weren’t really that good but how many reports this season have made the same point!

If everyone bust a gut as much as Paul Dickov then we could at least give the team credit for trying, but he seems to be very much the exception at the moment. On the plus side, Michael Brown getting a start was a step in the direction that many subscribers have been advocating. Why can’t David Morley get a game when our ‘regular’ defence are at sixes and sevens? Jeff Whitley and Chris Greenacre didn’t have much impact on this game but I can’t help feeling they can’t do any worse than the others.

On a more general (and perhaps controversial) note, I am surprised at how many subscribers have been threatening to ‘end their relationship’ with the club or words to that effect. Surely anyone who has a real soft spot for the club can’t just walk away like that? I’ve been a remote/armchair/whatever fan for over 25 years now and with the passage of time I’ve occasionally told myself that MCFC aren’t really important in an attempt to kid myself that I’m not cheesed off by our failure to do anything of note in all that time (1976 excluded), yet I feel down/elated depending on the result (I was like a dog with two tails after the Swindon result!).

I agree the fans deserve better; I know of no other club that has the sort of people prepared to maintain something like MCIVTA and organise the T-shirt/badge/’Gathering’/etc. spin offs and all for the love of a currently (and usually) unpredictable shower of sh**e like City. If only we had a successful team … but then again it wouldn’t be the same would it!?

Hoping better times are just around the corner.

OPINION – UPSET

I think that we definitely have a right to be upset about the current state of things, I mean even Stockport County are well above us. But I think the problem is nothing to do with the managment, and probably not much to do with the directors or even Franny himself. The problem is we have a team of no hopers and rejects. This really doesn’t reflect badly on our management, but more precisely the fact that any up and coming star would probably prefer to play for Barnsley in the Premier than our team.

Frank Clark seems to be getting a hard time, even though it is plain to see that when the players bother to play, they can trounce teams in our division (i.e. Swindon). So why aren’t they playing? It probably has to do with money. Players like Rösler, Kinky, and Symons were bought when we were still in the Premier, and I would imagine that they are getting paid the same amount of money now playing Grimsby, as they did when they faced the likes of Liverpool. So why should our players bother, they got a nice little earner going.

Well we’ve got news for you. If these players don’t start getting their arses in gear, then thr fans should take out their frustration on the players. I know at least 20 people who would gladly pay to play for City, and they couldn’t do much worse than the crap we see week in, week out. Frank should give his youngsters a go. These lads should have playing for City number one in their minds and their hearts, and selfish money grabbing ambition way down the line. The thing is if we leave it too late, we may not be in the first division next year.

OPINION – CONCERNED

I started to think well we can not get any worse, this thing has got to bottom out. After one bad result after another, I now cannot think that way any more. A lot of people say the team is not that bad, they just need some confidence. Why doesn’t someone hypnotise the bloody team? Today’s result QPR 2 City 0 – favourites for promotion? Surely they meant for demotion to Div 2. Someone at Maine Road wake up!

OPINION – WE ARE CRAP!

Being somewhat cut off from the world out here in sunny South Africa, I have battled with the masses of Reds and scousers to enlighten them on the Football Academy that we all know (or knew) as Maine Road. I did actually live on Maine Road 3 years ago and am a local boy (the Parky and Claremont being my sitting rooms during the informative years).

I negotiated with the T.V. schedulers who are headed by one Gary Bailey (room temperature I.Q.) to screen a City game and yes you’ve guessed it – QPR on Sunday. With the severity of my disappointment, you might expect a long and detailed analysis but I aim to be very concise.

Given the state of our club and moreover the lack of confidence that is so apparent to one who has not watched them for six months, I suggest that Frank does himself a favour and gets out with some integrity intact (I drink with his cousin out here and he is at his wits end with the attitude). Furthermore, we need radical steps to avert what is potentially the demise of City. Having watched them and prior to that taken in all of the MCIVTA reports and comments, I am afraid that any optimism is misplaced, they are crap, Kinkladze is AWOL in all but body and the entire game plan appears to revolve around his talents. Unless some hard truths are faced by everyone (fans included) these delusions that “we are a big club” and this “won’t happen forever” will bring the City as we know it to its knees. I am sure I am not stating anything that anyone out there has not done already, but, the difference is that I was not prepared or expectant of the dross that was served up on Sunday – the football was average, the attitude was ******g appalling – I urge you all not to accept it. I have not been able to watch them for 6 months and in all honesty am considering flying back to get a few of the lads out of the Lord Lyon to attend training on Tuesday and give them an attitude boost. 5 grand a week, they should be prosecuted for fraud.

Having just checked this, I have not been so concise, maybe that’s because I feel so much for City, but I won’t if this continues. The moral of the story – never assume that City are capable of doing anything other than making their fans look foolish in front of the rest of the English speaking world – keep your money in your pocket.

OPINION – QPR GAME

“It’s just like watching paint dry”

My first away game of the season. I’m not exactly full of confidence – I’ve never seen City win away, or even get a point for that matter, but you never know … (ha ha ha). Read on…

Yet again, loads of Blues made the journey south to witness another no-goal scoring performance from the boys in yellow. The day didn’t start too well, on account of my having to get up at 6.30 to catch the 7.30 Virgin train. Even worse, the train was delayed and we didn’t get into London until gone 11.30 which meant it was too late to go for a drink. I did walk past the Moon on the Green, but it was packed and I was late so I didn’t manage to meet any fellow Mcvitiers. The pub was closed on the way back, so I’ve no idea where people ended up!

I’m sure more will be said about the team’s performance, I can’t be arsed writing about it here. The supporters managed to have a laugh and made lots of noise, but I wonder how long people will be prepared to spend lots of time and money following a team who never look arsed and never look like scoring? Do the players (Dickov excepted) have no pride? During the final 10 minutes of the match, the City fans were noisily cheering every touch of the ball by a City player and booing the QPR players and the number of boos were embarrassing. Anyway, I can’t even be bothered slagging the team off and I can’t see me going to Maine Road on Wednesday even though I’ve got a free ticket. I think I’ll be at home watching paint dry.

OPINION – RANT AND RAVE

Voice of Florida here again! I ranted and raved about 2 weeks ago, and then watched in fascination as we lost to Stoke and QPR… and everybody is now R and R’ing! Two further points: is there any sign of accepting there is a serious crisis from the board? Second: I note in one letter the comment “Lee has put millions in the club.” Be careful about that… my understanding is that he borrowed the money to buy his equity stake, and then he takes a £300,000 executive chairman salary to service the debt. The equity value has more than held (though for how long I don’t know). If it’s true, that’s as near a free ride as you can get. I don’t doubt Franny’s heart (I watched him play) but his motives are not charitable. More to do with signing autographs again.

RESULTS

Should appear next issue.

WHY BLUE?

I was born in Stockport in 1960. In March 1962 my dad decided to purchase a shop to help supplement the family income. In April we made the big move to No 4 Hart Road, Fallowfield; don’t laugh, it was nice back then. In those days it was a “Mace” shop. “Gee’s, for your bacon, butter and cheese. Your order made up with ease, when you phone 224 4991 please.” From our living room window, which was above the shop, we could see the floodlights. I vaguely remember seeing them light up the night sky and hearing the roar of the crowd, sometime in the mid sixties. I remember going down to Maine Road every Saturday morning to get the players’ autographs as they would turn up for the game and then I’d come back later at “free quarter time” to get in for nowt. Eventually, I was allowed to go every week, my brother Kevin would take me just to get me from under my mum’s feet! I regularly went from 1968 onwards. I got my first season ticket in 1972. Original price was £15 but if I bought it before the end of the previous season, I could get it for £12, which I willingly did. I was a regular season ticket holder until I emigrated to Vancouver in 1990.

My most memorable memory? So many, Dennis’s overhead at Wembley. Rodney’s brilliant hat-trick against Middlesbrough (74 ish). The night King Colin died? (4-0 win). The night when Peter Barnes destroyed Standard Lierge (Kidd scored two). The game when Ron Saunders was sacked and Tony Book took over, Mike Summerbee had the game of his life. And then that Saturday in September 1989, what can one say about that! I moved back to Stockport in March 1976 but I still went with my friends from “the old neighbourhood.” And at every away game we would sing “Fallowfield Blues we are here Oh, Ohhh!” Ah! the memories.

My best team – Corrigan, Book, Hinchcliffe, Watson and Doyle. Summerbee, Hartford, Bell, Tueart. And a front two of Royle and Lee. As I sit here now, I am getting all sorts of memories flooding back. So I’d better sign off or otherwise I’ll be here all night reflecting on what might have been?

OXFORD PUB?

Me and my beloved are going to the Oxford game with the City travel club (from Moston). We are leaving at approx 8:30am so I think we should get there at approx 13:00, just in time for a drink or 13… so if any other MCITVA’s are going and know of a pub near the ground that you are meeting up at could you email me and let us know.

All together now “Oh we never win at home and we never win away…”

THE BALLAD OF FRANNIE LEE?

In light of recent ‘events’, I remembered a song which top Blues, Mark and Lard did in those good ol’ days when they were on in the evenings and we were still in the Premiership. It made me laugh out loud like a fool at the time and I was wondering if someone just happened to have a copy of it, no matter how badly recorded, that they could lend me so I can relive those days and be all happy again. The song in question was called ‘The Ballad of Franny Lee’ and had the unforgettable lyrics:

“At first the crowd roared, but now they’re just bored,
we go La-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-le this is the Ballad of Franny Lee”

To the tune of the Ballad of Henry Lee by Nick Cave. Good wasn’t it? If you can satisfy my lusts, then E-mail me.

WWW MANCHESTER CITY SUPPORTERS’ HOME PAGE:
http://www.uit.no/mancity/

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DISCLAIMER
The views expressed in MCIVTA are entirely those of the subscribersand there is no intention to represent these opinions as being thoseof Manchester City Football Club, nor of any of the companies anduniversities by whom the subscribers are employed. It is not inany way whatsoever connected to the club or any other relatedorganisation and is simply a group of supporters using this mediumas a means of disseminating news and exchanging opinions.

Ashley Birch, mcivta@tollbar.u-net.com

Editor: