Newsletter #822

As the nation prepares itself for early alarm calls and a breakfast with Brazil, City have been busy confirming the Foe deal and spreading the word out in China.

Tonight sees Don’s news round-up, the debate on club-v-country continues, opinion on fixtures, strikers, predictions, a couple of requests and a bit of Blue humour.

Next game: Leeds United, away, 17 August 2002


General News

Chinese Delegation: Chris Bird became Marco Polo this week, as he led a City delegation to China to explore possible trade and marketing opportunities with the world’s most populous country. “There are a lot of opportunities in China from a merchandising point of view,” said Bird. “Obviously as the club grows, and we want it to grow as fast as possible, you have to look for all the benefits which come from commercial opportunities not just in the UK but throughout the world. China is one of those places that we need to go and have a look at. I would say that Jihai Sun has prompted this move. He is very much an added benefit, but we have been looking at the Chinese market for some time. But we won’t be going there to talk about what we can do with Jihai Sun, but what we can do with the club and the brand that is Manchester City. We will be talking about the fan base which we have, the new stadium that we are moving into and one of the big factors when we talk to people in China will be Kevin Keegan. He is a world name and people are very interested to hear about any team with which he is associated. And that is one of the big benefits we have.” The trip will comprise visits to Dalian (Sun’s hometown), Shanghai and Beijing. They are expected to meet with blue chip companies, and various media organisations.

Academy Tournaments: City have announced two pre-season tournaments for the Academy teams. An under-18 City side will take part in the Manchester International Football Festival, along with Oldham Athletic and Thailand’s national side at that level. The competition will be played at Witton Albion’s ground, Wincham Park near Northwich in Cheshire, and will be run between 16th and 20th July. City’s press release says that the games will be televised in Thailand. City’s under 14 and 16 sides will compete in Northern Ireland in July in the international Milk Cup tournament. City’s squad should contain Willo Flood, who was named the Football Association of Ireland’s under-15 Player of the Year, Bradley Wright-Phillips as well as England pair Lee Croft and Dorryl Proffitt.

New Stadium on TV: Idly channel hopping after the Ireland versus Spain game last Sunday, I stumbled upon the TV coverage of the Commonwealth Games athletics trials, held in the City of Manchester Stadium. Very striking it looked too – the permanent stands looked imposing, with banks of stands topped by impressive roofs. The seats are a reassuring shade of blue. There also seemed to be a lot of cable and concrete on show which, if memory serves from the family drive past recently, is much on display on the outside of the ground as well as part of the roof support system. The sole City-related Internet report on the event noted that in the 100m mascot race, Moonchester finished second, followed some way back by Moonbeam. Sadly BBC 2 chose not to televise this momentous event.

Potential Fixture Switches: It’s happening already. City fans became used to constant alterations to last season’s fixtures, and it looks like happening again before the end of the first month of the new season. First potential change may be for the visit of Newcastle United on August 24. The Toon’s website reckon that Sky have picked this game to show live. A Sunday kick-off might be problematical to Newcastle, who may be in Champions’ League action on the following Tuesday. A Saturday morning kick-off may therefore result, but Sky have yet to confirm this. Then the Blues are due to travel to Villa Park to face Peter Schmeichel’s previous club on Wednesday, 28 August. Should Aston Villa progress in their Intertoto Cup campaign, they will play that week in the Competition’s Final. City’s game will then take place on Wednesday, 25 September, unless of course either clubs are involved in the Worthington Cup! The game might then take place on Wednesday, 23 October. I can feel one of my heads coming on…

Transfer News and Gossip

Foe Signs: KK has got his new defensive midfielder. On Tuesday City announced the signing of Marc-Vivien Foe from Olympique Lyonnais on a year’s loan. The French club had announced this deal last week, but City were clearly not ready to confirm the contract at the time. Now it’s official. “Marc was a long term target and an absolute key to what we want to do and that is no disrespect to anyone else,” commented Mr. K. “He is a quality player who has just come back from the World Cup. He is big, strong and a great athlete. He knows English football and was at West Ham where he did very well. I know he didn’t stay long at West Ham but that was not to do with how he played. If you talk to any of the players who were there and we have talked to Paulo, Eyal Berkovic and Stuart Pearce, all are very respectful of Marc Vivien Foe. Marc plays in that holding rôle but I am not saying he can’t play it with another person in other words there could be a chance to play another player with him. So that does not rule out Kevin Horlock or anyone else for that matter who may be fighting for that position.” Keegan continued by outlining the details of the contract. “He is on loan for a year and we have paid a loan fee of £555k to have him for this season. He has left Lyon and the chance of Champions’ League football to come here and he wants to play Premiership football. He is a tremendously important signing for us. The others are certainly exciting but some signings you know are just right and this one is. And we have an option to purchase him at the end of the season. He wanted to come to the Premiership and that has been the key to it. He is very excited about coming here. I have talked to him a number of times on the phone and it has not been an easy deal to conclude as loan deals from big clubs are not easy. But it has gone through and we are very happy about it.” Foe is no stranger to the English game. He played for a season at West Ham, and nearly signed for MUPLC before a broken leg scuppered the deal.

Now There’s a Shame! The good news about Foe’s transfer is that City must surely now be ruled out of a move for Paul Ince. Ince’s contract with Middlesbrough runs out at the end of this month, and with Chairman Steve Gibson refusing to meet the thirty four-year-old’s wage demands, there is plenty of speculation on his next club. City have been mentioned, but the likely candidates for the Guvn’or’s presence are Everton and Wolves.

Justice for Wolves: A recent MCIVTA correspondent asked: whatever happened to the alleged transfer of Justice Christopher from Royal Antwerp? The Nigerian midfielder had a trial with City last February, then nothing happened. Christopher was in the Nigeria team that drew with England last week, and now there’s speculation that Wolves are in the hunt for the player. Antwerp will expect a fee in the region of £500,000 and a work permit will be required.

Edghill to Charlton: The rumours concerning Richard Edghill rumble on. Despite attracting attention Sunderland and Wolves, press reports reckon that Edgy is on his way to the Valley. City’s longest serving player is about to have talks with fellow Premiership club Charlton Athletic. He could join the South London club on a free transfer having been released by City at the end of last season.

Wilcox Speculation: Alleged City target Jason Wilcox is thought to be on his way out at Leeds United. Leeds chairman Peter Ridsdale has revealed that his club must reduce their debt by £15 million, after manager David O’Leary invested over £100 million in a failed attempt to reach the Champions’ League. Ridsdale said: “We have a squad of 26 players and we plan to reduce that number by four. We are carrying four more players than we expected because for a start we needed to cover for Lee Bowyer and Jonathan Woodgate during the court case. If we sold three peripheral players, that might well be enough to reduce our targeted debt.” Cue the speculation that KK will move for the former Blackburn wide man. The Boss Man has already indicated that Foe’s signing was the last before the start of the new season, so whether he renews his interest in Wilcox is open to question.

Defender Rumours: Correct me if I’m wrong – last week KK announced that he wanted to make one more big signing this summer. Most of us would have assumed that Foe’s signing this week was the last piece of the jigsaw. We may well be wrong, if Wednesday’s press were to be believed. KK wants another defender. The previously reported Arsenal and England defender Martin Keown, as well as Derby County pair Chris Riggott and Danny Higginbotham were immediately nominated as possible City targets. Republic of Ireland international centre-half Gary Breen, now out of contract with Coventry City, has also been mentioned.

Dugarry Available: Bordeaux have let it be known that their French international forward Christophe Dugarry is available for £4 million. This contradicts Dugarry’s recent claim that he wanted to stay with the French First Division club. Naturally City’s name has been mentioned, along with Tottenham’s and Fulham’s, as possible destinations for the 30 year-old.

World Cup Blues

Jensen Horror: The first City player to pack his bags this week at the World Cup was Denmark’s Niclas Jensen last Saturday. Denmark were eliminated after England’s 3-0 first half demolition job. City coach Derek Fazackerley had publicly backed Jensen to perform well against old Goldenballs Beckham: “Niclas is a composed defender and will be familiar with David’s style of play having seen him on television on countless occasions since he joined us at the beginning of the year,” said Faz. Sadly for Niclas, it didn’t quite work out that way. Sunderland’s Thomas Sorensen was badly at fault for two of England’s goals, while our Niclas could claim an assist in the third goal, after tamely heading the ball into Beckham’s path to sprint away and set up Emile Heskey. Note from the News Editor: Please please please Niclas, no repeat performance in the derby next season, OK?

Ireland Out: City’s last world Cup representative was involved in the tournament for only 24 hours longer than Jensen. Richard Dunne was a non-playing substitute for the Republic of Ireland’s four games in Japan and Korea, and Ireland finally left the competition after losing a penalty shoot out after a stirring performance against Spain. Dunnie was hopeful of his continued presence in the Irish squad, which might lead to further international experience for him. “I feel as if I have been around for ages as I have been playing since I was seventeen. I am only 22 now but I have been playing for the last five years. I have fourteen caps for my country and over a hundred League games to my name so by the time the next World Cup comes round I will be even more experienced. I am a product of the Jack Charlton revolution in the Republic of Ireland in the early nineties. Myself, Robbie Keane and Damien Duff were all out on the streets kicking a ball around during the World Cup of 1990. Hopefully in ten years’ time there will be another squad of players coming through,” concluded the defender. Former City centre half Mick McCarthy was full of praise for his players. “I said to the players before the penalties that whatever happened, there would be no recriminations,” said McCarthy, who has agreed to remain in charge of the Republic team for two more years. “We’ve had a wonderful World Cup and I am full of admiration for all the lads, even those who didn’t play. They are a wonderful bunch of lads. The lads who took the penalties? Well that’s tough. So there will be no complaints from me.” He even gave our own boy a few consoling words for the future. The Irish boss said: “There are some very good young players in this squad and that gives us all reason to be optimistic for the future. Dunney has a good future in the game.”

No Disgrace: Paulo Wanchope feels that losing 5-2 to Brazil was no disgrace, especially after a generally successful World Cup Finals for Costa Rica. Indeed Paulo thinks that the Brazilians are hot favourites for the trophy. “We are sorry to be out of the World Cup but we gave it everything that we had. Brazil are a magnificent team, with some of the finest players in the world, they will take some stopping, some of their goals were outstanding. I have enjoyed being part of the competition and was delighted to play in the games, hopefully the injury problems are in the past. We may be heading home early but I feel that Costa Rica can leave the competition with our heads held high,” he concluded.

Reactions and Comments

Paulo’s New Start: KK is looking forward to having a fit and hungry Paulo Wanchope back at Maine Road for the Premiership season ahead, following some excellent showings in the World Cup Finals with Costa Rica. “Paulo hasn’t been over-footballed this last 12 twelve months,” Keegan said. “He could be like a new signing. Last year, there seemed as if nothing would go right when we tried to get him back. But touch wood, he’ll get some match fitness now, have another short break and then come back at his best to us on July 11, as will all the other players who have been away on World Cup duty. On his day, he is nothing short of sensational.” Paulo expressed similar sentiments to his club manager. “I’m happy to go back to Manchester City next season. I’m looking forward to playing in the Premier League again. I’m looking forward to playing with Nicolas Anelka – and the other new signings – and he’s a great player. You hope to play with great players like him. The coach, Keegan, he wants more players and that’s good. That’s a good sign of his ambition because we want to be up there challenging and not be at the bottom again,” added Costa Rica’s number nine.

Bring it On! Dennis Tueart, King of all Geordies, has been banging the drum this week for the season ahead. City’s Director of Football reckons the players have nothing to fear from the opening fixtures. “Some might say that it is a tough opener for our return to the Premiership but this is exactly the challenge that we have worked for and want to get out teeth into,” he remarked. “I am happy with the opening games and we would rather be playing Leeds and Newcastle than, with the greatest respect, Preston and Wimbledon. Of course it is important to get off to a good start in the Premiership, that has been proven time and time again. Everyone at the club is approaching these fixtures with great optimism.” Tueart believes that the new boys in the squad will be well settled in to their new surroundings by August 18. “I am a great believer that players need time to settle and all our signings will have time to do that,” he said.

Squad News

Shaun not Wright? City fans will remember the unpleasantness that sprung up between KK and Dickson Etuhu’s agent. The Boss Man objected to the negotiating techniques of Dickson’s representative. Result: an acrimonious departure for the nineteen year old to Preston, and a “never darken my doors” type blast towards the agent. Now here’s the problem – said agent also acts for Shaun Wright Phillips. Shaunie has been seeking an improved contract. It therefore comes as no surprise to read in Saturday’s newspapers that negotiations between City and SWP’s agent have reached an impasse. Vague threats are now being made about the under-21 international leaving the club. Let’s hope this gets resolved quickly, because it’d be too awful to see SWP playing one of the Lancashire giants like Preston or Blackpool.

Oh No, No Foe! City fans are going to have wait till September to see Marc-Vivien Foe. The FA have noticed that Foe has a four match ban to serve from his time at West Ham United. The 27-year-old midfielder was sent off in The Hammers’ final game of the 1999-2000 season against Leeds United at Upton Park, and as a result of having been sent off earlier in the season against Arsenal, Foe was handed a four-match suspension. He will miss the following games: Leeds away, August 17, Newcastle home August 24, the trip to Aston Villa on (hopefully!) Wednesday, August 28 and the visit of Everton to Maine Road on Saturday, August 31. A City spokesman said: “We have been told by the FA that there are no grounds for appeal over Marc Vivien Foe’s suspension.” (Thanks to David Warburton for this story).

Ex-Blues’ News

Oldham Get Cross: Here’s a name from the deep and murky past. Former City striker David Cross has been promoted to be the new assistant manager at Second Division Oldham Athletic. He will keep responsibility for managing the Reserves for the forthcoming campaign. Cross was recently in the running for the manager’s job at Rochdale, but that post went to his former City colleague Paul Simpson. John Bond signed Cross for City from West Ham United, in the débâcle that was the relegation season of 1982-1983. He made 38 appearances and scored 13 goals in all competitions, before escaping to Vancouver Whitecaps in April 1983.

Niall Retires: Following Ireland’s exit from the World Cup last weekend, City’s former favourite wearer of Disco Pants announced that he was retiring from the international scene. Niall Quinn played ninety one times for his country over sixteen years, and is Ireland’s all-time leading scorer with twenty-one goals. “I’ve had a wonderful time. It has been great while it’s lasted but it’s over now,” said Quinny. “I’ve got the rest of my life to lead now but I’m really grateful for having lived the Ireland experience. I’m looking forward to bringing my children along to Lansdowne Road and watching top-class football and Ireland qualifying for tournaments for the next 10 years.”

Don Barrie (


In answer to Adrian Bates’ lament for a derby at OT before one at Maine Road:

In all the seasons since the war these are the seasons we’ve played away in the first derby.


That’s 14 out of a possible 42 seasons that we’ve been in the same division… i.e. 33%. Not a bad ratio.

In the Premiership, it’s been:

Away first: 92-93 / 94-95 / 95-96
Home first: 93-94 / 00-01 / 02-03

a 50% split.

You can’t get fairer than that can you Des? Maybe Adrian has only started supporting City since the play off final – in which case he’s 100% right.

However, I think a more interesting question might be: Do we win more derbys when we play the first game at home or away?

Answer to follow.

Kevin Cummins (


So who do we play up front?

Obviously Anelka will be number 1 and it’s just a matter of finding the right partnership for him. I have no knowledge of Vuoso and not sure how Macken will do in the Premiership so my initial vote goes with Wanchope and play Huckerby on the wing. If we don’t play with 3 strikers I would like to see Hux get the nod. With 6 decent strikers, Keegan is going to have some tough decisions to make. Try picking 2 starters and 2 for the bench, who would you leave out altogether?

Paul Faulkner – Colorado Blue (


A little while ago I asked if people would like to predict City’s highest and lowest finishing positions for the coming season. Having been out of commission for a while following back surgery, I can now publish the results, as seen below. Thanks to those who replied. Interestingly before the fixtures were announced, Jim Needham predicted a 7-0 win at Leeds. That’d be a nice start wouldn’t it?

  Highest  Lowest    Average     Highest    Lowest    Average
   High     High      High        Low        Low        Low
   2nd      9th       6th         7th        19th      14th

So for what it’s worth, on average City, at best claim a UEFA Cup place and at worst finish a comfortable mid-ish table.

Dave Kilroy (


I think this is a fascinating debate. I’ve never understood those City fans who have no interest in England because there are no City players in the squad, or because there are United players in the team, or Southerners, or because they play down South were there are no decent chippies. Fortunately this time round there don’t seem to be many cases of those ridiculous arguments being peddled.

The World Cup, like the European Championships, comes round once every 4 years and I get really sucked into the whole event. At the moment I am really nervous about the game on Friday, ’cause if we can beat Brazil I believe we can win the tournament. I was distraught after the Euro 96 game against Germany.

Why is this? Perhaps it’s because I have lived in both Wales and Scotland whilst at University and have first hand knowledge of how the Scots and the Welsh feel about England and sport. That makes me even more patriotic. For the first time I have a St George’s cross hanging from my window – at first to annoy my Scottish wife but even she is tentatively supporting England (for me, but would never want us to win the WC). I’ve been struck by the number of Union Jacks and St George’s crosses hanging from windows, and flags flying from cars and vans – I think it’s fantastic. It sticks two fingers up to the BNP who have “hijacked” the St Georges cross in recent years for their own perverted cause, and also to the PC brigade who don’t want to upset the minorities who live in Britain – but don’t get me going on that one.

The signings we have made so far are unbelievable and I can’t wait for the season to start. However, the WC is on, England are doing well, the favourites are falling by the wayside and we play Brazil for a place in the semis. Come on – it’s once every 4 years – the fixture list can wait until July 1 – you’ll still have a full month to drool over it before the season starts.

Jonathan Tod (


While it’s all but fifty years since I left England my support has always been to England for any sport in which they have been playing my country of residence or any other country.

However, my heart dictates:

  1. Manchester (City)
  2. Lancashire
  3. England

where there is a choice to be made.

Stuart Grundy (


Having watched the Club vs. Country debate I feel I had to add my two pennorth. I am a city fan living over 6,000 miles away and have been one since birth in 1949. I was born in Manchester which makes me English and I am working with Germans, Argentineans, Brazilians, Chileans, Mexicans, Swiss, Hungarians, various Arabic denominations, Israelis, Mexicans, Central and northern Americans. All of whom I consider my friends for most of the time. However, when the World Cup comes around, parochial games become insignificant. In that small sceptered isle you can keep local enmities but when these guys have supported my torture against the Red Menace all these years to finally play their national teams and have all the side bets and pools and ethnic insults (all in good nature) we are all together in our suffering. One of my Argy friends paid up his $20 loss and will take me out to lunch wearing a Manchester, England cap (by the way, who picked red & black for that?) in a Mexican restaurant this week. You can’t buy humiliation like that from a scum fan!

You can wear blinkers but the significance of an International game when living abroad is massive and long lasting. Be proud of being CTYD but you will die an Englishman! Even if you are in a corner of a foreign field.

I will get up in the early hours of the morning to watch England play, just like I do to listen to City on the Internet but the results are much more significant to us all. Think of us ex-pats and the torment, and all without a cup of oxo and a Holland’s pie.

J Heavis (


I have to say that I do get exactly the same ‘gut-wrenching nerves’ when watching England as I do when watching City. I went to France 98 and was in St Etienne trying to get a ticket for the last England vs. Argentina game (they were available from the touts but way out of my league), so we had a last minute dash to Nice to watch the game there (all the bars in St Etienne were closing before the game so you could not stay in town and watch the game anywhere).

I don’t think I can ever remember having so many gut-wrenching nerves watching that game with a load of other English fans in a bar in Nice.

Anyone in Melbourne, go down to the All Star Cafe for the England games. Bit of a rip off in that they charge $20 to get in to watch the game which is on a free to air channel, but the atmosphere is well worth it. They play ‘three lions’ and ‘vindaloo’ before, during and at the end of the game and the place goes mad, especially if we win like against Denmark. They also play New Order’s ‘world in motion’ too which everyone sings along to.

I wish the Brazil game was a night game (9:30pm Oz time) but this one kicks off at 4:30pm. Come on England.

Next season’s fixtures do look mouthwatering though and the excitement is building as the new season approaches with the World Cup being the cream on the cake.

Adrian Bates (


Re: Simon Hope in MCIVTA 821 “Offer me a derby victory in November or that Argentina result and I’ll take the latter every time.”

This is an incredible statement to come from a City fan – Do you really hate the Argies more than United?

Have you forgotten about McClair equalising in the 3-3, Kancheslskis running rings around us in the 5-0, Fergie’s smirking mug after they’d fluked the European Runners-Up League, Cantona, Ince, Beckham – not to mention Tyldesley, Newbon, Alan Green, Jim White etc. fawning all over the superreds for 13 years… urgghh.

Also was a bit shaken up by the ‘little Scholesey’ remark. Enjoying England’s World Cup progress is one thing but affectionate nicknames for the United players is quite another.

Ben Cavanagh (


From the response both on my e-mail and McVittee it sounds like this is a debate that’s been raging all over the world and the Blue view is clear, with just one dissenting voice – City every time. I guess I wasn’t alone in feeling the pain as BBC endlessly showed Nic Jensen letting Beckscum set up Heskey for 3-0.

I really hope we win on Friday, but if not at least I can blame someone for whom I feel no affinity. How about another Rag to complete a hat-trick of scapegoats, Beckham 98, Neville P 2000…

[Now now, Mark, don’t tempt fate – Ed]

Mark Sweeney (


After looking at the fixture list, City could quite easily have their first 3 matches televised (Leeds, Newcastle, Villa). Anyone know when the TV schedule is decided?

I hope and don’t expect us to be in a relegation battle but at least the end of season run-in doesn’t look too bad. Liverpool being the only team in the last 10 games I see as a really difficult game.

Paul Faulkner – Colorado Blue (


Thought fellow Blues would like to marvel at the depth of footballing knowledge demonstrated by a supporter of an obscure PLC from a Manchester overspill industrial estate. Watching England vs. Sweden in a bar in the south of France (hard life innit?) when two middle age blokes came in and sat behind me and my girlfriend. Much chuckles followed.

Bloke 1 (Australian) asks questions about the match to bloke 2 (English).

Bloke 1 – ‘Have you always been a ManUre supporter?’
Bloke 2 – ‘Yeah, since I was about 7 years old’
* TV replaying Scholes committing a foul *
Bloke 1 – ‘Is Beckham playing?’
Bloke 2 – ‘Yes, that’s him’
* On Danny Mills *
Bloke 1 – ‘Who’s he?’
Bloke 2 – ‘Danny Mills, plays for Liverpool.’
* On Freddie Ljungberg *
Bloke 1 – ‘I’ve seen him before, doesn’t he play in England?’
Bloke 2 – ‘Yeah, that’s Marcus Ljungberg, he plays for Aston Villa.’

Thought, ‘Blimey, only out of the country for a couple of days and transfers (and name changes) flying around more than Dominic Bergkamp, that well known and car loving Chelsea midfielder.’

PS – Mick McCarthy – City Till He Dies, obviously.

Steve Doyle (


Did anyone catch Big Brother on E4 on Tuesday evening when one of the male housemates was discussing City’s recent signings (I only caught Distin’s name over the rantings of the lovely Jade!)? I wonder if we have a Blue in the house?

[No idea, but there’s definitely a Blue amongst those poor devils on Lad’s Army ITV1 – Ed]

Mark Barratt (


I watched the Commonwealth Games Trials on TV at the weekend for one reason only – to see our new stadium used in anger! It looks magnificent (I’ve driven past it a lot lately too, forming the same opinion), and I really think it will do us proud.

However, it’s uncovered at both ends. Is more roofing part of the Development Plan or are we now destined to have two “Singing in the Rain” stands?

I think we should be told.

Steve Roughsedge (


It’s been a long while since I last contributed, glad to see City have been promoted, some of the summer signings leave me worried, with me it’s Country before Club.

Finally the gist of the mail. As you may or may not be aware City have an “Internet” team called McVittee FC – no not online but physically, you know pull on boots, kick a ball around and play other teams’ supporters. The team was started a while ago and I’ve been manager. However, I’ve let things slip since last year’s summer tournament in Leeds (those who went and played will know what I’m talking about).

I digress, enough of my waffle, basically I would like to know has anyone on MCVITA entered a Man City team for the Worldnet tournament in Leeds over the weekend on July 12/13/14? Can someone please let me know?

Martin Ford (


Hi! I’m going to be travelling across Canada during July and August and have a couple of requests for kind Cannuck Blues. Number one, are there any cafes or bars where I’ll be able to watch the World Cup final in Toronto at 7.00 in the morning (I arrive at midnight!).

Number two, it’s likely I’ll be in Vancouver at the start of the season – are there any bars frequented by Blues for live Premiership games? I’ll also be happy to receive any information about any meetings or get-togethers being held, and try to attend if I can.

In deepest Blue, Peter Sidell (


How many Roy Keanes does it take to change a light bulb?
One – he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

What’s the difference between Roy Keane and God?
God doesn’t think he is Roy Keane.

What’s the difference between BSE and Roy Keane?
BSE got to Korea.

What’s the difference between Roy Keane and a tea bag?
The tea bag is in the cup longer.

What do you get if you offer Roy Keane a penny for his thoughts?

And finally…

A little boy says to his mother: ‘Mammy, Mammy, when I grow up I want to be like Roy Keane’
She replies, ‘You can’t do both, son’.

CTRKDAMA (City ’til Roy Keane Develops A Mature Attitude), Ian Lloyd (


1. The basic MUFC virus.
This is where the computer develops a memory disorder and forgets about anything before 1993.

2. The MUFC shirt virus.
This one is specially hard to detect as it changes its format every 3 months.

3. The Beckham Virus.
Affects newer computers mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but nothing works.

4. The Keane Virus.
Throws you out of Windows.

5. The Ferguson Virus.
The computer develops a continuous whining noise and the on-screen clock runs a lot slower than anybody else’s. Just when you think that you are about to get rid of it, it re-installs itself.

6. The Yorke Virus.
You can’t get into the inbox.

7. The Veron Virus.
The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it is better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.

8. The Bartez Virus.
You can’t save anything.

9. The Blanc Virus.
Computer slows right down to a crawling pace.

10. The Old Trafford Virus.
Computer goes strangely quiet.

11. The mufc fan virus.
One of the most irritating. Relatively unknown in Greater Manchester but particularly virulent in the Home Counties and Malaysia.

Anne Costain (

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Manchester City FC recognises three supporters’ clubs: The “Official Supporters Club” (; the “Centenary Supporters’ Association” ( and “The International Supporters’ Club” (

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[8] Are City’s goals available on the net? has available for download, usually within 24-48 hours of a game being played, all the goals from City’s matches.

[9] What’s the music the teams run out to?

The music we ran out to at Maine Road during the 01/02 season was “Nightmare” by Brainbug and is available on the Positiva label.

[10] Acknowledgements

Thanks go to John Arnold for providing the information regarding match day music and to Ian Bell for pointing out the alternate live match commentary service.

The views expressed in MCIVTA are entirely those of the subscribersand there is no intention to represent these opinions as being thoseof Manchester City Football Club, nor of any of the companies anduniversities by whom the subscribers are employed. It is not inany way whatsoever connected to the club or any other relatedorganisation and is simply a group of supporters using this mediumas a means of disseminating news and exchanging opinions.

[Valid3.2]Heidi Pickup,

Newsletter #822