Newsletter #680

There are lies, damn lies … then there are statistics. The stats show that after Wednesday’s encouraging performance we’ve only lost one out six this year in all competitions, but we’re still waiting for our first Premiership win since December’s thrashing of Everton. The limited highlights I saw on Match of the Day suggested a fairly even affair at times but Liverpool probably had the more clear cut chances. We really do need to start winning a few but at least we’re not losing. The Riverside would be a good place to get that elusive win.

This issue has one matchview from the ever dependable Heidi, as well as some opinion on Joe (for a change!) and Paulo, a chance for Greater Manchester residents to have a say on their local sports paper, and a fairly extensive humour section, with Pete’s news summary leading the way. Any Why Blues lurking out there?

NEWS SUMMARY

Part I: Liverpool at Home – Result and Reaction

City and Liverpool Share the Points: Manchester City failed to climb out of the Premiership’s bottom three on Wednesday evening. But the Blues did earn what could prove a precious point in their survival battle, drawing 1-1 with Liverpool at Maine Road. It was the visitors who took the lead shortly before half-time, with Emile Heskey heading home Vladimir Smicer’s cross. But City, who sent on Andrei Kanchelskis for his début at the start of the second half, were level soon after the break thanks to Danny Tiatto’s second goal of the campaign. The Blues will take heart from a passionate, committed performance which leaves them now just two points adrift of fourth-from-bottom Derby.

Royle Happy With a Draw: Joe Royle saw his Manchester City team draw with Liverpool on Wednesday. And the Blues’ boss was satisfied with the point his side earned against Gerard Houllier’s in-form side. Royle feels that maintaining defensive solidity will be the key to survival this term. And he was particularly pleased with the Blues’ rearguard, singling out Richard Dunne for particular praise. “It’s a good start for us to defend at this level,” said the City manager. “We were playing against Heskey, Fowler and Litmanen and players like that. Overall, it’s a good point for us.”

Joe Pays Tribute to Liverpool: Joe Royle was in no doubt that Manchester City’s draw with Liverpool on Wednesday represented a point gained rather than two dropped. The Blues’ boss insisted that given the quality of the opposition his team faced, the result had been a pleasing one. Royle admitted that Gary McAllister’s pin-point delivery from set pieces had caused City problems throughout the game. But he was generally happy with the way his side coped with the attacking threat posed by opponents he rates extremely highly. “When you think of their quality up front we defended well,” reflected the Blues’ boss. “It is hard for an ex-Everton manager to say this but they are an excellent team and I’ve no doubt they will be challenging next season.. I can see them developing into a championship-winning outfit.”

Houllier – City Caused Us Problems: Gerard Houllier felt his Liverpool side had wasted a couple of good chances to beat Manchester City on Wednesday. But in the end, the Anfield boss was happy with a draw from a game he admitted had been tough for his players. Liverpool’s away record is relatively poor, with the Merseysiders having now claimed only three wins in twelve league games on their travels this term. But Houllier felt there was no disgrace in the failure to add to that tally in the Maine Road encounter. “[City] were strong tonight and gave us a good game – sometimes you have to respect that and give credit to the opposition,” reflected the Frenchman. “It’s a good point for us because when you play against teams who are fighting for their lives it’s very difficult.”

Promising Start but More to Come from Andrei: Andrei Kanchelskis made an immediate impact on his first appearance for Manchester City on Wednesday. But Joe Royle says that the winger believes he will produce even better form once he’s improved his match fitness. Kanchelskis added considerably to City’s attacking threat when brought on for the second half of the Blues’ Maine Road clash with Liverpool. But though the 32-year-old’s pace caused the Merseysiders problems, Royle says that the player will get even quicker. “Andrei tells me he has another two or three yards to find to get back to his best, so wait for the sonic bangs!” the City manager told the club’s official website. “A lot of people don’t realise that he rarely gives the ball away. He has superb control.”

Dunne Hails Maine Road Crowd: Joe Royle has noted more than once that the atmosphere at Manchester City home games seems better for evening kick-offs. And the Maine Road fans earned the praise of defender Richard Dunne by again proving the Blues’ boss’ point against Liverpool on Wednesday. Dunne says that the players kept believing in themselves even when they went behind to an Emile Heskey goal just before half-time. But the former Everton defender acknowledged that the crowd had played their part in lifting the City team – thereby contributing to making the match an enjoyable one for the players. “It was a great game to play in,” he told the Manchester Evening News, “because the more we stepped it up the louder the crowd got and they pushed us on to even better things.”

Midweek Results Go for City: All of the teams in the Premiership relegation battle were in midweek action this week. And after taking a point from the Maine Road clash against Liverpool, Manchester City have not lost ground on any of their relegation rivals. Bradford City remain at the foot of the table, five points adrift of Coventry and six behind the Blues. The Bantams went down 2-0 to Arsenal at Highbury on Tuesday, while Gordon Strachan’s men were beaten 1-0 at Leeds 24 hours later. Meanwhile, Derby lost 2-1 at Charlton to remain fourth from bottom, now just two points ahead of City. Middlesbrough and Everton, who drew 2-2 at Goodison Park, are respectively a further point and two points ahead of the Rams.

Part II: Transfer News and Rumours

No Spanish Move For Paulo: There were reports on Tuesday that a club from La Liga had enquired about transfer-listed Manchester City striker Paulo Wanchope. But the rumoured interest seems to have come to nothing after Wednesday’s Spanish transfer deadline passed without a move for the Costa Rican. Several teams have been linked with Wanchope since Joe Royle made him available for transfer at the start of this week. But Royle commented that the only firm initial interest had come from Spain. But while that avenue now appears to be closed, the player could still move abroad, with Marseille said to be keen on reuniting the 25-year-old with erstwhile Maine Road team-mate George Weah. Celtic have also been linked with the temperamental ex-West Ham man, while Everton and Birmingham are the latest English clubs to be mentioned as interested parties.

Royle Non-Committal on Transfers: Manchester City have been linked with numerous players in recent weeks. But despite the constant speculation involving a host of strikers and midfielders, Joe Royle is playing down the prospect of an imminent new arrival at Maine Road. City have been rumoured to be keen to sign a new central midfielder ever since making an abortive move for West Ham’s Steve Lomas a month ago. And the transfer-listing of Paulo Wanchope has led many to believe that a new striker is now the priority. But Royle says that he’s in no rush to make any more signings while Wanchope remains at Maine Road – though the City boss has made similar comments on more than one previous occasion, only to unveil a new arrival shortly afterwards.

French Striker Link Revives: Manchester City may make a move for a new striker if Paulo Wanchope is sold soon. And the Blues have once again been linked with ex-French international Lilian Laslandes. City were known to be watching Bordeaux forward Laslandes in UEFA Cup action for his club before Christmas. And it’s reckoned that the Blues’ scouts were sufficiently impressed to make the player a potential target if Wanchope moves on. However, any move for the £2 million-rated front man may have to wait until the French club is eliminated from European competition.

Doubt Over Taylor Hillsborough Switch: Gareth Taylor hasn’t played for the Manchester City senior side since being transfer-listed over a year ago. And after going out on loan twice last season, now the 27-year-old is set to leave Maine Road for good – if a last-minute hitch in the proposed deal can be overcome. Taylor had spells at Port Vale and QPR last year, but had failed to clinch a permanent move on either occasion. And after the striker rejected a number of temporary switches this season, he appeared set to stay with the Blues until the summer, when he’ll be out of contract. But now Sheffield Wednesday have stepped in with a bid to lure the ex-Sheffield United man back to the steel city. The Owls are prepared to take over the remaining five months of the player’s contract, but there are reports that the deal may have hit a snag. City are said to be asking for a £100,000 payment if the troubled South Yorkshire outfit manage to avoid relegation from the First Division – but Wednesday are not prepared to accede to this demand.

Part III: Miscellaneous News and Views

Boss – Defence Will Be the Key: Manchester City are in a desperate fight to preserve their Premiership status. And Joe Royle believes that a successful outcome can be assured if the Blues tighten up defensively. Royle is unhappy with the number of goals the Blues have already conceded this term. But he was satisfied with the display of the Blues rearguard against Liverpool on Wednesday – and believes that a series of repeat performances can ensure that City reach safety. “The bottom four sides have all got the worst goals against records,” he noted, “and I suspect that at the end of the season the side that defends the best out of those four sides will get out of trouble.”

Andrei Aiming to Repay Royle’s Faith: Andrei Kanchelskis made a promising start to his Manchester City career this evening. And the winger says that he’s especially keen to be a success at Maine Road because he feels he’s indebted to Joe Royle. Kanchelskis played for Royle for eighteen months at Everton, scoring 20 goals in 52 league games. But the Russian international left for Fiorentina in a £8 million deal – and says he wants to make it up to the Blues’ boss. “When I left Everton for Fiorentina I always felt I owed Joe Royle something and I want to pay back that debt,” said the former Manchester United star. “I want to be a big success here.”

Royle Praises Tiatto’s Improvement: Two years ago, Danny Tiatto was unable to command a regular place in Manchester City’s Second Division side. So Joe Royle is delighted with the improvement the Australian has shown to become one of the first names on the team-sheet in the Blues’ Premiership survival battle. Tiatto’s combative style hasn’t always gone down well with referees, and the 27-year-old has been suspended twice already this term. But Royle knows that the player’s aggression is also one of the strengths in his game, and believes that there’s even better to come from the ex-Stoke man. “He’s come a long way in a short time,” commented the City manager. “He’s very quick, he’s very direct and he does unorthodox things. I still say to him at times you’ve got to add a bit of quality to all that, but he’s an exciting player.”

Kanchelskis House Sale Coincidence: Despite leaving Manchester United over five years ago, Andrei Kanchelskis kept his house in Cheshire until recently. But the winger finally sold the property last autumn – just before moving back to the north west with Manchester City. The 32-year-old had retained the house despite his moves to first Everton, then Fiorentina and Rangers. And in an ironic twist, the eventual buyer turned out to be Laurent Charvet, a man who’s now a Maine Road team-mate of Kanchelskis. “It’s funny how these things happen,” agreed the Russian international. “I’ll now be looking around for a place to stay and will either stop in a hotel or rent a flat.”

Part IV: Reserve and Youth Team News

Youngsters Through in Youth Cup: Manchester City’s senior side gained a valuable point against Liverpool on Wednesday. And there was also success for the club’s youngsters on the same evening. City finally played their twice-postponed FA Youth Cup fourth round tie against Luton. Thanks to goals from Adie Orr, Jamie Tandy and Stephen Paisley, the Blues led 3-1 at half-time after going behind early on. A late Hatters goal gave the scoreline a flattering look from the home side’s perspective but the Blues held on to clinch a home fifth round tie against Coventry. That match will take place at Maine Road on Tuesday, 13 February with a 7 p.m. kick-off. Jim Cassell is looking forward to meeting the Midlands club, and was delighted with his young charges’ display at Kenilworth Road. “It was a great team performance in a very physical tie,” said the City Academy boss. “It was tough and they were a strong side, but I thought we were good value.”

Kennedy to Make Reserve Return: Mark Kennedy will return to action in Manchester City’s reserve game against Oldham on Thursday evening. The Irishman was relieved to see his comeback game get the go-ahead after a morning pitch inspection. City take on the Latics at Hyde in the Manchester Senior Cup, with a 7 p.m. kick-off. But the game had at one stage looked likely to fall victim to the weather after a heavy overnight frost. A postponement would have been a blow to the ex-Wimbledon player, who has been sidelined since damaging knee ligaments at Sunderland just before Christmas. Meanwhile, Paul Dickov will not be risked in Thursday’s game. The Scot has been making a good recovery from his medial ligament injury but is not yet ready to return at reserve level.

Part V: ‘Boro Away – Team News and Preview

Morrison Doubtful for ‘Boro Clash: Andy Morrison was selected ahead of Spencer Prior and Paul Ritchie for the Manchester City side against Liverpool on Wednesday. But a hamstring injury caused the former Blues’ skipper to be substituted at half time – and now the player is doubtful for Saturday’s trip to Middlesbrough. Morrison produced an impressive first-half display against the Merseysiders. But the big defender felt his hamstring tighten during the opening period so gave way to new signing Andrei Kanchelskis after the break. The new fitness worry will come as a blow to the former Huddersfield defender, who has had to wait for his chance to establish himself at the top level. Now it appears that either Prior or Ritchie may return for the visit to the Riverside, though Joe Royle could also deploy Richard Dunne as Steve Howey’s defensive partner. Apart from Morrison, Royle has no other new injury problems, and the main selection issue appears to be who will make way if Kanchelskis is given his first City start.

City Look to Turn Round ‘Boro Record: Manchester City visit Middlesbrough this weekend looking for vital points in their battle for Premiership survival. But the Blues have a poor recent record in away games against the north east club. Saturday’s match will be the third the Blues have played at ‘Boro’s Riverside Stadium – and both of the previous encounters there ended in wins for the home side. And City had an equally poor record at ‘Boro’s previous home, Ayresome Park, losing five successive league and cup games there in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Indeed, since a 2-0 triumph in December 1977, the Blues have drawn three and lost nine of their twelve away games on Teesside – a trend Joe Royle will be desperate to reverse as City seek to move out of the relegation zone.

Blues Face Another Six-Pointer: Since the turn of the year, Manchester City have already travelled to face two of the other teams in the Premiership’s bottom four. And the Blues face another basement scrap on Saturday as they visit fifth-from-bottom Middlesbrough. Despite the home side’s league position, it’s a tough task which awaits City at the Riverside Stadium. For while ‘Boro are just three points ahead of the Blues, the Teesside outfit have improved dramatically since the arrival of coach Terry Venables. The ex-England boss has tightened up his new club’s defence, and the result has been an unbeaten run of eight league games in which only four goals have been conceded. And if Joe Royle also deploys a defensive formation, relying on the pace of Huckerby and Kanchelskis on the break to trouble the hosts, a tight, low-scoring encounter could be on the cards.

MATCH VIEW

A very positive game last night from a number of perspectives, given the air of apprehension most had arrived under. Indeed, after watching Liverpool warm up, I thought we would get whipped. However, back to the Euro-Rated Platt Lane School Training Facilities for our boys and what a difference.

The team were “up for it”, playing like a team rather than the loosely assembled assortment of late – in fact after 40 minutes we were exhausted watching, when compared to the last 5 games. Performing like that, I wouldn’t have cared if we had been whipped 4-0. Well not really. It was hard to differentiate between the teams, though ultimately disappointing that we couldn’t convert another one or two of our chances which would have been thoroughly deserved (of course through my blue tinted invisible spectacles we had most of the possession and opportunities).

The crowd were superb, a fantastic atmosphere; it was like being back at the Maine Road of old. Good to see that the destructive and idiotic “boo boy” element didn’t manifest themselves at the slightest mistake – take note, we don’t need you there!

Weaver 7 – Confidence seems to have returned, some good saves, kicking with confidence again.
Dunne 9 – Gave a superb performance (OK then, solid). In for the tackles, accurate passes and kept Alfie off a couple of the throw-ins. How much Lycra does he have in his shorts?
Howey 8 – Again performed well with some excellent clearances when Liverpool threatened in attacking play or from corners. Time for the captain’s armband?
Morrison 7 – Had a good game, but despite his injury (hamstring?) seemed to be tiring a little with the pace towards the end of the first 45. However, I’d rather have him on for 45 playing like that than not at all.
Granville 7 – Again showed the sort of performance he has done in the last few games, proving he can build on this and has a promising future rôle. Not afraid of running forward and creating chances.
Tiatto 9 – Well what can you say? Excellent, caused no end of problems for them. Kept his head and a fantastic goal rewarded his effort.
Kanchelskis 7 – Showed touches of class with a couple of his runs down the wing, a promise that there is much, much more to come here.
Haaland, Whitley, Wiekens 7 – Had OK games. I do think Whitley struggled a little, but he was being played on the right. Wiekens played well until the Kanchelskis sub when he was sent back into a defensive rôle. Alfie was better than of late but somebody seems to have left the light on with nobody home. Maybe he needs a ‘rest’?
Goater 8 – Excellent game, confidence back and playing well. Once the service improves we should see some more goals from the man.
Huckerby 8 – Some good runs forward, needs to work on his finishing and take a chance within 10 yards of goal. Had a superb run in the first half only to have 7 red shirts around him and no blue. Shoot – it sometimes gets on target!

Support 10 – Keep it up.

Pitch 4 – A right old mess. Honestly, you’d have thought Sale Sharks had already moved in.

Disappointing to see that Heskey is still the cheating, diving pratt he was at Anfield early season. Fowler succeeded in failing to live up to expectations when he came on, which was rather pleasing.

Chant of the night was “City’s staying up with a Russian on the wing” – although the pedants out there will delight in pointing out he’s Ukrainian; who cares?

So, 3 points on Saturday against the used car salesman and his miserable sidekick will do us nicely.

OPINION – JOE ROYLE

Has Joe lost the plot?

Joe may have worked wonders in the last few seasons, but how many people have forgotten the last 15 game season we had with him as a manager? For those who have – we were relegated. It’s fairly obvious that Joe cannot handle a big name and his man-management skills must come into question.

How excited were we all at the start of the season when we had Howey, Haaland, Wanchope and Weah to strengthen the squad? Weah has gone, Royle can’t handle Wanchope (I don’t remember any public problems with Smith or Redknapp), Haaland looks a shadow of his former self. Only Steve Howey has proven to be able to play under Royle, but how long before he falls out with him?

He said Weah didn’t fit in the team; however, in the 9 league games with him, we won 3, drew 3 and lost 3. In the 17 since he left, we’ve won 2. Wanchope is now suffering the same frustration as Weah, about being substituted or left out for sub-standard players (who worked wonders for us at lower levels but) who are not good enough at this level.

What about team selection and tactics – sorry what tactics? On Saturday he decided to play 4-4-2 with a full back at left midfield (when Wright Philips was on the bench) and 4 centre halves, at home! He then removed the one centre half who actually wanted the ball (Ritchie) and brought on Charvet to change the system. I accept the logic, but did it change the game? No! And more to the point, what would have happened had Granville gone off injured? Without Ritchie on the field we had nobody left with a left foot. Why not take of Morrison or Prior for tactical reasons?

Finally on the same note, I have complete sympathy for Wanchope; he got no service all afternoon and taking him off for another (less able) striker was pointless. Yes bring Goater on, but put all 3 up front. Those who think he changed the game (Royle included) might want to remember that was a set piece he scored from.

In summary I feel Royle has no idea where he is going with the team (except Division 1) and obviously cannot handle the thought of anybody being a star at this club other than him! Thanks for the last two years and now either get some help, start talking to your players and getting them playing, or get out!

OPINION – PAULO WANCHOPE

It’s quite spooky really. The “Fan’s View” I painstakingly and thoughtfully write for Sport First (actually it’s thrown together straight after the game to meet the 5.30 deadline), only applies to Premier League games, but I was desperate to have my say, and had I been asked to file my view on the Coventry FA Cup game, the game would not have got a mention. I would have had difficulty editing this lot down to 150 words:

I have a problem with Paulo Wanchope. Not only does he irritate me with his constant “Bambi On Ice” impressions on the pitch, I have had the misfortune to see him arriving at the ground on the last two home games. All the other players, including the unhappy Laurent Charvet, will stop and chat, sign autographs, have photos taken etc. But Wanchope appears to be above all this. As a few young children, and me, ask him politely for an autograph, he never utters a word and at best will scribble something without even looking at the paper he is writing on, or acknowledging the person requesting his signature. His nonchalant, dead-pan look projects an air of arrogance and ignorance. On Saturday I was on the verge of approaching him to remind him that these people pay his wages and deserve to be treated with a little more respect, but I stopped myself, as it wasn’t the time or place. I didn’t want to be held responsible for another Nonchope display. His public outburst towards Joe Royle at being rightly substituted in the 70th minute, in full view of everybody in the ground, was disgraceful and reinforced my earlier opinion. I hope the contempt he showed for his employers results is his removal from the team and club. Speaking on Sky last Sunday, ex-boss Jim Smith said “Paulo thinks he is better than he is”. Hear, hear… and good riddance.

The last thing Joe Royle needs at the moment is some mamby pamby prima donna swanking round like he owns the place. Shove him in the A-team until he leaves, and let’s rekindle the team spirit of ’99 in an effort to stay in this division. Joe has stated in the Evening News that the previous incidents with Wanchope had been kept “in house”. My hope now is that the rest of the team pull together and we see some improved performances from the likes of Alfie Haaland, who I would rather have battling at this time than five Paulo Wanchopes. Those of you who saw the “enigmatic” Wanchope on Eurosport recently against Guatemala (I think) will realise that his performances for his country are as equally frustrating and inept as those for City, West Ham and Derby.

Any comments by me today about Wanchope being transfer listed? No! I made my comments about 2 months ago. Come on you Blues and give 100% for your club!

SURVEY – SUNDAY PINK WANTS YOUR VIEWS

Can you help? I am conducting a poll on City fans’ opinion about the Sunday Pink. If you live in Manchester, or within the Pink’s catchment area, please take a few minutes to e-mail your response to the questions below. I will post the results in a future MCIVTA. A word of warning: anyone who comments that questions 1 and 3, options d and e are one and the same, will have their e-mail address published on MCIVTA!

1.   Did you buy the SATURDAY Pink:
a    Always
b    Usually
c    Sometimes
d    When City won
e    Never
2.   If you bought the SATURDAY Pink, did you usually buy it on:
a    Saturday Night
b    Sunday
c    Never bought it
3.   Do you buy the SUNDAY Pink:
a    Always
b    Usually
c    Sometimes
d    When City win
e    Never
4.   If you buy the SUNDAY Pink, do you usually buy it on:
a    Sunday
b    Monday
c    Don't buy it
5.   Name the other Sunday papers you buy, if any. If "none", leave blank:
6.   Do you think 50 pence for the SUNDAY Pink is:
a    Too cheap
b    About right
c    Too dear
7.   Which town do you live in:
8.   Where do you look for your City Ticket information:
9.   Please give any comments you wish here:

Thanks in advance.

STRETFORD & URMSTON CSA – BRANCH MEETING

Thanks to David Cross and Wilf McGuiness for attending the last meeting as our special guests and passing on their views on football and City in general.

Please see the following for details of the next branch meeting of the Stretford and Urmston branch of the Manchester City Centenary Supporters’ Association.

Next meeting – Tuesday 13th February 2001 at the Metro’s Sports & Social Club, Moss Road in Stretford (off Davyhulme Road East). Special guest: Paul Lake. One of City’s most talented and versatile players of recent times who was eventually forced into retirement after having 14 operations during a five-year battle against a cruciate ligament injury. Having earned several England U21 caps he would certainly have gone on to win full international recognition had it not been for his horrendous injury problems.

Meeting open to all City fans
Families and children welcome
Adults £1 admission on the door
“Football card” competition
Raffle and prizes
Children’s raffle
Meeting starts 7:00pm prompt
Branch membership available at the meeting

For more information please call 0161 746 7638 and leave details on the answering machine if we are not about.

CALLING ALL MELBOURNE BLUES

I am hoping to form a branch of the Supporters’ Club in Melbourne and I would like to call all Melbourne based supporters to get together and discuss. To make it official, we will need at least twenty members and (based on the number who were at the Keepers Arms at the derby match back in November last year), this should not be a problem. This will be a properly run club with chairperson, treasurer etc. and minutes will need to be kept.

As members would be based around Melbourne, a centralized meeting point would need to be organised. The club would need to be self-funded so sales of T-shirts, raffles would have to be organised. I hope all Melbourne supporters can rally around the cause. Please email me at the address below to register your support.

NOKIA RINGTONES?

Anyone know a site where I can get them for the Nokia 3210?

FAWLTY BOOKING?

I have obtained a copy of a recent letter from the Cardiff Universal National Tourist hotel (C*NT for short) to another c*nt, Alex Ferguson:

29th January 2001

Dear Mr Ferguson,

With reference to your recent reservation at our exclusive hotel, close to the Millennium Stadium, for a party of seventy from Thursday 10th of May to Sunday 13th May 2001 inclusive, on looking through the sporting calendar for that weekend, we notice that the F.A. Cup Final is to be played on the Saturday.

The management would like to offer your party the exclusive use of our giant screen, which will be erected in the main lounge, so that you can all watch the Final in total comfort and relaxation. This facility will be provided free of charge, with our compliments, along with plentiful supplies of spilt milk.

Could you please let us know by return if you would like this facility to be made available to you and your party. At the same time could we respectfully request that you forward payment of the non-refundable balance of £60,000 for the cost of your party’s stay. A VAT invoice is attached.

Yours sincerely
I.M.A. Joke

Hotel Manager

I’ve had numerous variations on the above so I thought it best to leave the byline anonymous. If the story about ‘them’ booking their accommodation is true, it really does play into the hands of their detractors

DOG PRODUCTS

Following the article in the last issue about football products for dogs, I’d like to propose one that the author might want to consider. It’s a pooper-scooper and collecting bag gift set with a picture of Old Trafford on one side and the starting line up for the M.U./West Ham FA Cup tie on the reverse. Underneath would be the caption “It was the pitch wot done it, honest guv”…

I haven’t stopped laughing yet.

MASSIVE CLUB

Two starving cavemen walking through the forest. One has a bow and arrow, the other has no weapon. The one with the bow and arrow suggests they split up to search for food, and if he hears the other shout, he will find him and use the bow and arrow to kill the food.

So they split up, and soon the caveman with the bow and arrow hears shouts of “City, City” from his mate. He rushes to the where the shouts are coming from, and finds him in a clearing, stood beside a large dead dinosaur. The caveman with the bow and arrow asks his mate how he managed to kill the dinosaur without a weapon, to which he replied: “My dad always told me to hit them with a MASSIVE club”.

MASSIVE CLUB 2

In response to the recent calls to radio shows by the Massive Club a*seholes, one of my friends came up with the idea of us taking Inflatable Clubs to the match with Massive Club printed on it, just to throw it back in the Rags’ faces…

ABSOLUTELY FAB? YOU AR*E

Just to give us something to cheer about; let’s all try to describe just what Fabian was doing last Sunday:

• Asking if he could go to the toilet?
• Trying to stop a bus?
• Waving off the next train?

Arrogance personified? We believe you’re offside Paulo so why isn’t the ref giving it?

RESULTS

Recent results to 31 January 2001 inclusive.

31 January 2001

Chelsea               3 - 1  Newcastle United      35,108
Everton               2 - 2  Middlesbrough         34,244
Leeds United          1 - 0  Coventry City         36,555
Manchester City       1 - 1  Liverpool             34,629
Southampton           1 - 0  Leicester City        14,909
Sunderland            0 - 1  Manchester United     48,260
West Ham United       0 - 0  Tottenham Hotspur     26,048

30 January 2001

Arsenal               2 - 0  Bradford City         37,318
Charlton Athletic     2 - 1  Derby County          20,043

League table to 31 January 2001 inclusive.

                             HOME          AWAY        OVERALL
                    P  W  D  L  F  A  W  D  L  F  A  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
 1 Manchester Utd  25 10  1  1 33  6  8  4  1 24 10 18  5  2 57 16  41  59
 2 Arsenal         25 10  3  0 33  8  2  5  5  8 15 12  8  5 41 23  18  44
 3 Sunderland      25  8  4  1 16  6  4  3  5 15 17 12  7  6 31 23   8  43
 4 Liverpool       24  9  2  1 25  8  3  3  6 18 19 12  5  7 43 27  16  41
 5 Ipswich Town    24  6  4  2 19 10  6  0  6 17 20 12  4  8 36 30   6  40
 6 Chelsea         24 10  2  1 36 12  0  5  6 10 18 10  7  7 46 30  16  37
 7 Newcastle Utd   25  7  2  3 18 12  4  2  7 14 23 11  4 10 32 35  -3  37
 8 Leicester City  24  6  4  2 16 12  4  2  6  8 14 10  6  8 24 26  -2  36
 9 Charlton Ath.   25  8  4  1 21  9  2  2  8 13 29 10  6  9 34 38  -4  36
10 Leeds United    24  7  1  5 22 18  3  4  4 13 14 10  5  9 35 32   3  35
11 Tottenham H.    25  8  4  0 22  9  0  4  9  8 25  8  8  9 30 34  -4  32
12 Southampton     25  7  2  4 19 15  1  6  5 10 19  8  8  9 29 34  -5  32
13 West Ham United 24  4  5  3 17 11  3  5  4 15 16  7 10  7 32 27   5  31
14 Aston Villa     23  4  4  3 15 12  3  4  5  9 14  7  8  8 24 26  -2  29
15 Everton         24  3  5  4 15 16  4  1  7 11 20  7  6 11 26 36 -10  27
16 Middlesbrough   25  3  4  5 14 16  2  6  5 15 16  5 10 10 29 32  -3  25
17 Derby County    25  4  6  2 15 16  1  3  9 11 27  5  9 11 26 43 -17  24
18 Manchester City 25  3  3  7 17 20  2  4  6 12 24  5  7 13 29 44 -15  22
19 Coventry City   25  2  4  6  9 18  3  2  8 14 26  5  6 14 23 44 -21  21
20 Bradford City   24  2  4  5 10 17  1  3  9  6 26  3  7 14 16 43 -27  16

WWW MANCHESTER CITY SUPPORTERS’ HOME PAGE:
http://www.uit.no/mancity/

MCIVTA ADDRESSES:
Contributions: Geoff – mcivta@donkin.freeserve.co.uk
News & Rumours: Peter – brophy_peter@hotmail.com
Subscriptions: Steve – sbolton@buxtonrd.u-net.com
Technical Problems: Paul – paul@city-fan.org

DISCLAIMER
The views expressed in MCIVTA are entirely those of the subscribersand there is no intention to represent these opinions as being thoseof Manchester City Football Club, nor of any of the companies anduniversities by whom the subscribers are employed. It is not inany way whatsoever connected to the club or any other relatedorganisation and is simply a group of supporters using this mediumas a means of disseminating news and exchanging opinions.

Geoff Donkin, mcivta@donkin.freeserve.co.uk

Editor: