Newsletter #629

Well, what a week it’s turned out to be for City; hardly had MCIVTA 628 gone out than the news started to filter through that Royle was hoping to sign George Weah and Paulo Wanchope! Some people have already asked me if I had insider info on the Weah deal when I mentioned it in the introduction to MCIVTA 628. All I can say is that I read an article about ‘being tempted by George Weah’ in the Pink Final on Saturday – or at least I think I did! Anyway, Weah has now signed on the dotted line and may make his début at Edgeley Park this Saturday. Wanchope meanwhile is discussing personal terms and ought to sign tomorrow (Friday).

Needless to say, the Weah signing alone has caused a tremendous stir and Peter has kindly put together a news special covering all the reaction to the signing. Other than that, we have the News Summary; a match report on the disappointing defeat at Burnley (thanks Phil); and stacks of opinion!

Please note that MCIVTA will be edited by Dave Butler for the next 6 issues (please see below). Please send all articles to Dave, hopefully starting with some match reports on Saturday’s game!

GUEST EDITOR

I’ll be taking a break from MCIVTA for the next three weeks. David Butler – who has written articles for City Magazine and Bert Trautmann’s Helmet – has kindly agreed to take over for this period (Issues 630-635). Please send all articles for inclusion in MCIVTA to:

David Butler me@davidbutler.free-online.co.uk

MATCH REPORT – ‘LIVE’

BURNLEY vs. MANCHESTER CITY, Wednesday 2nd August 2000

My first view of the Blues since last May. It’s funny but for the first few minutes, the whole team looked bigger, stronger, faster than before. I think it was something to do with that little triangular logo they now wear on their sleeves, proudly stating ‘FA Premier League’. One player didn’t look quite as big and I must admit when I realised it was Jamie Pollock I was amazed. Is he just wearing extra, extra large kit now? If he has lost weight by normal means, I want a copy of his diet sheet!

City started with a strong, but clearly not the strongest line-up: Weaver, Crooks, Haaland, Jobson, Granville, Pollock, Wiekens, Horlock, Kennedy, Bob Taylor and Peacock. The team started brightly with some quick passing and with Kennedy immediately catching the eye. He looked like he hadn’t played football for ages and was just so excited and enthusiastic to be on the field of play again. He was streets ahead of anyone else on show tonight. We had a few half chances; Pollock controlling a crossed/ deflected ball well before volleying over the bar. Kennedy cutting inside and hitting the side netting. From another cross, a defender just got enough on the ball to distract SBT from a header.

Nevertheless, Burnley looked 10 times the team we beat for fun over the past couple of years. They played some neat attacking football themselves and launched a number of counter attacks. Their first goal came from one of our free kicks which was cleared to their right winger (what’s one of those?). He laid the ball inside for Phil Gray who had time to curl an impressive shot out of Weaver’s reach. Their second goal also came for the right with the winger easily beating Granville, crossing to John Mullins who had a free header from 6 yards out. Early in the second half Dickov, Edghill and Grant replaced SBT, Crooks and Horlock and the team looked better for it. Peacock had his first shot on goal, screwing wide, but shortly after following a hot shot from Kennedy, Peacock pounced on the ‘keeper’s parry to score from, ooooh about 6 inches I think! Dickov played his usual game and was unlucky to be penalised after robbing the ‘keeper. Grant as usual drifted in and out of the game put played one sublime diagonal pass which sliced open the Burnley defence. Unfortunately the recipient was Edgy who edgily sliced his shot wide.

Many substitutions were made by Burnley and Shaun Wright-Phillips replaced Pollock with about 20 minutes to go. Our best chance of an equaliser came in the last minute where their ‘keeper performed an impressive double save from Peacock and then Wright-Phillips. So a 2-1 defeat. Some OK bits and some not so OK bits. It should be said that the entire match was played in rain which ranged from monsoon proportions to ‘who put that sheet of stainless steel in front of the stand so we can’t see what’s going on’ proportions. It really was awful. Probably of most concern was the performance of the defensive unit. Granville in particular seemed to lose concentration far too often. Haaland and Jobson played OK individually but didn’t seem to have an understanding of their rôles within the unit. I recall the Morrison/ Wiekens partnership in particular, where Morrison almost without exception went for the first header with Wiekens dropping back. Jobbo and Alfie didn’t have that sort of partnership. However, Alfie’s dominance of the backline was apparent (he, shall we say, told Edgy ‘in strong terms’ to take up a particular position at a corner!). His distribution out of defence was good too. Nothing too difficult but sensible, short, accurate passes to his team mates. On a similar note, Weaver on a couple of occasions made good use of the elimination of the ‘steps’ rule, catching the ball, pelting to the other side of the box and throwing the ball sensibly to start a quick attack. We could make good use of this tactic. Crooks did OK before being injured and indeed at times he had the right flank to himself, but more often than not we went to the left as usual. Pollock was Pollock, whether its good enough for the Prem I don’t know. Wiekens was OK.

Horlock was the midfielder who took up the best attacking positions and was unlucky not to score from a just too high Crooks cross. Kennedy as already mentioned looked bright and hungry and as we already know, will be our key provider. Taylor was disappointing. He looked fit and certainly put in plenty of work, but didn’t seem able to play his ‘normal’ game, which is dropping off the main striker in a slightly deeper rôle. He didn’t get the opportunity to have a shot on target or to thread any ‘killer’ passes. I still think he can make a contribution though. Peacock on the other hand I’m afraid has gone as far as he can with City. Yes he scored, yes he puts plenty of energy into his game, but he rarely takes up dangerous positions or makes things happen. Edgy looked good, other than his shot. Won virtually everything, passing was simple and accurate. Dickov was Dickov and again I still feel he can make a contribution – from the bench. I think it’s unlikely however, that with the acquisitions of Weah and probably Wanchope, Dickov will stick around. Good luck mate you’re a legend. Grant has sublime passing skills but displays them far too infrequently. Like Cooke, I feel fitness/stamina is Grant’s problem, but he will have to impose himself more to survive at Prem level. Wright-Phillips I don’t think was as spectacular as I have heard he was at Gillingham, but nevertheless it’s clear that he has improved from last season and he could turn out to be a potent ‘secret weapon’. What he will gain from working with George Weah is potentially frightening!

So obviously any defeat is not good, but certainly nothing to worry about. We have more ‘first choice’ players who didn’t play tonight and indeed those who did play we know are far more capable when their sharpness returns (Granville in particular). I am assuming that if JR secures Ehiogu’s services, the first choice defensive partnership will be him and Prior. Prior was out last night, but I’m a bit suprised that (from what I’ve heard) that Alfie Haaland has played all the pre-season games at the back with Wiekens in midfield. Surely if as expected, Alfie’s position will be in midfield it would be better to give him practice in that rôle? Maybe we’ve got it wrong? Our success over the past 2 seasons has been based on a tough defensive unit and it was anything but that in the first half tonight, although arguably none of the starters in defence will be ‘first choice’ at the start of the season. I’m pretty sure that I can predict that the SBT/Peacock partnership will not be aired too often in the Prem (!), so nothing can be taken from tonight. Midfield is still a difficult area to decide upon. Obviously Kennedy will always be the main provider, but I still feel that we need Bishop in a central rôle. Likewise, I think Jeff Whitley’s engine may well get him a vote from Joe. We shall see. Let’s see who plays (particularly up front!) on Saturday.

NEWS SUMMARY

City Sign George Weah

After weeks of transfer inactivity, City have pulled off one of the highest-profile deals in the club’s history. The Blues have completed the signing of George Weah on a free transfer from AC Milan. Joe Royle made contact with Weah at the weekend when the African was in London for abortive talks with Fulham. And after negotiations progressed quickly, the 33-year-old arrived in Manchester on Tuesday for a successful medical, following which he signed a two-year deal. The Liberian front man will become easily the highest-paid City player ever, with reports estimating his salary at between £25,000 and £42,000 per week. The most commonly quoted figure is around the £30,000 mark, which represents almost three times the earnings of the club’s previous top earner. After signing, Weah returned to Italy to make arrangements for his family (and his dog!) to move to Manchester with him, but he was back with the Blues on Thursday. His City début will come either at Stockport on Saturday or at Oldham on Tuesday. In view of the publicity the Weah deal has attracted, there’s more news of and reaction to the signing in a separate feature elsewhere in this edition of MCIVTA.

Burnley Inflict First Pre-Season Defeat

City conceded their first goals of the pre-season campaign at Turf Moor on Wednesday evening. And the eventual 2-1 defeat by Burnley was the first defeat for the senior City side since the mid-March reverse at Barnsley. In difficult conditions caused by heavy rain, the hosts took a two-goal lead in the first half, with Phil Gray and John Mullin the men on target. Lee Peacock reduced the arrears in the 53rd minute but the Blues were unable to find an equaliser. City were missing Danny Tiatto and Spencer Prior, who were nursing minor injuries, while also absent were Shaun Goater, who is still recovering from his cartilage operation, and new boy George Weah.

“Lacklustre” Display Disappoints Royle

Joe Royle was unhappy with the first-half display of his Manchester City side at Burnley on Wednesday. But the Blues’ boss was able to point to positive aspects of the evening’s events even though his team was beaten 2-1 at Turf Moor. Royle noted that it was better for City to get a disappointing display out of their system before the start of the new campaign. And he felt that the Clarets gave the Blues a valuable work-out, which will help the Maine Road players as they bid to attain match fitness in readiness for the start of the season. “All round, it is still good for fitness,” he commented, “although that’s not an excuse because we don’t like losing and I’m disappointed to lose the game.”

Hammers Accept Wanchope Bid

Joe Royle his hoping to clinch a third summer signing by the end of the week. And the man on the City boss’s hit-list is Paulo Wanchope, whose club West Ham have accepted the Blues’ £4 million bid for the striker. Wanchope joined the Hammers last summer from Derby for £3.5 million, but despite scoring 12 league goals in 35 games the Costa Rican hasn’t been a popular figure among the Upton Park fans. With Harry Redknapp adding forwards Frederic Kanoute and Davor Suker to his squad this summer, the 24-year-old is now available for transfer and has also interested Bradford and Celtic. After agreeing the fee with the London club earlier in the week, City were aiming to discuss terms with the player on Thursday with Royle “very hopeful” of clinching the deal before the weekend. The Blues’ boss described Wanchope as “a mercurial genius” whom he would expect to become a firm favourite with the Maine Road crowd.

Redknapp Expects City Success for Paulo

Paulo Wanchope failed to win over the West Ham fans during his year at the club. But Hammers’ manager Harry Redknapp feels the Costa Rican will be a success at Manchester City. Redknapp feels that the Upton Park crowd failed to appreciate fully the ex-Derby player’s contribution, which included some important goals. “Paulo did a good job for us last season, he was just unfortunate that the crowd didn’t take to him straight away,” he explained. “Towards the end of the season he scored some vital goals.” The former Bournemouth boss went on to predict that Wanchope will be an important asset for the Blues.

City Face Fight for Ehiogu

Manchester City are still hoping to land Ugo Ehiogu after Aston Villa boss John Gregory admitted his club would sell the transfer-seeking defender. But with Scottish giants Celtic also now being linked with the player, Joe Royle could face a fight for the signature of the former West Bromwich Albion junior. Ehiogu has been a priority target for the Blues for several weeks, and was the subject of a bid which would have broken the club’s transfer record. But with Villa rejecting City’s £6 million offer and refusing to name their price for the player, the saga has dragged on, and there have been rumours that other clubs could move for the 27-year-old. In addition to Celtic, Sunderland, Leeds and Middlesbrough have also been mentioned as interested parties, while West Ham are said to regard the London-born star as a potential replacement for Rio Ferdinand should the England man leave for Barcelona.

Pompey Linked with Taylor

With Joe Royle signing one striker and moving to add a second to his squad this week, there are question marks against the futures of some of the existing Maine Road front men. And Portsmouth hope to take advantage of the situation by signing Robert Taylor. Pompey boss Tony Pulis, who managed Taylor at Gillingham, is looking to sign a striker. And after missing out on Bristol Rovers’ Jason Roberts, Pulis has admitted to his club’s website that he’d be interested in taking the 29-year-old to Fratton Park. It’s thought that the south coast club would be prepared to match the £1.5 million fee Joe Royle paid to bring the ex-Brentford man from Kent last summer, although the City boss strenuously denied that any bid has been received. Nevertheless, some reports maintain that the Blues could be tempted if Pompey were to offer £2 million.

Clear Out Set to Begin

With City stepping up their summer recruitment drive this week, the Maine Road squad is once again expanding. And with Joe Royle sure to be keen to rectify that state of affairs, several members of the Blues’ playing staff are being linked with moves away from the club. Robert Taylor is said to be a target for Portsmouth, while fellow strikers Paul Dickov, Lee Peacock and Danny Allsopp have supposedly been attracting the attention of Sheffield United, Grimsby and Wrexham respectively. Meanwhile, Bolton are reported to be keen to sign City midfielder Jamie Pollock. The Trotters had originally hoped that the Blues would allow Pollock to move to the Reebok in part exchange for defender Mark Fish, but the Wanderers have funds available for a cash deal after the recent sale of Claus Jensen to Charlton. Finally, midfielders Jim Whitley and Gary Mason and striker Gareth Taylor are on the transfer list and were excluded from the recent team photograph.

Goater “Unhappy With Contract Offer”

Bermuda’s Royal Gazette newspaper reports that City are in talks with Shaun Goater over a new contract. But the source claims that last season’s leading goalscorer is dissatisfied with the club’s opening offer. Goater has two years remaining of his existing contract, but the club is reportedly prepared to hand him a new three-year deal. However, it’s said that the Bermudian front man has rejected the City’s initial offer, with an unnamed friend of the 30-year-old quoted as saying the terms were “nowhere near what Shaun was expecting”. Talks are believed to be ongoing and fans will no doubt be hoping that the club reaches agreement with the man who became a Maine Road cult hero after attracting much terrace criticism in his early days at the club. And with manager Joe Royle a keen admirer of the player and Goater professing himself happy at the club, an amicable resolution seems a sound bet.

Goater Welcomes Added Competition

Shaun Goater faces a challenge to hold onto his place in the Manchester City team following the signing of George Weah and the likely arrival of Paulo Wanchope. But the Bermudian is relishing the challenge. Goater played a massive part in City’s promotion last season, scoring 23 league goals as the club clinched a Premiership return. And the ex-Bristol City front man is determined to fight off the competition and earn himself the chance to demonstrate his top-flight credentials. “Personally, I relish the prospect of competing,” he told the Manchester Evening News. “I am not surprised that we have gone for a player of Weah’s calibre and stature. Now I hope Wanchope comes because it demonstrates the club’s ambitions and gives the kind of added rivalry that can only be good for the club.” Currently sidelined after his cartilage operation, Goater is refusing to be drawn on a likely comeback date but professes himself “happy” with his progress to date.

Reserves Win at Radcliffe

City reserves continued their pre-season build-up with a win on Tuesday. The Blues followed the 5-0 victory at Corby in their previous match with a 3-1 win at Radcliffe. City fielded a strong side against the Unibond League outfit, and transfer-listed midfielders Jim Whitley and Gary Mason were among the scorers. Ian Bishop also figured in the match as he returned from an injury which had sidelined him from the seniors’ trip to Gillingham last Saturday.

Power – Link Cup Good for the Kids

City’s youngsters suffered a double disappointment in the Milk Cup in Coleraine last week. But even though the Blues’ under-14s and under-16s both fell at the final hurdle, coach Paul Power felt the club’s participation was a valuable exercise. Star performers for City included Darryl Proffitt, top scorer for the under-14s, and Bradley Wright-Phillips, whose brother Shaun is currently bidding to break into the senior side at Maine Road. The Milk Cup tournament is one of Europe’s leading festivals of youth football, with big names like Steve McManaman, Nick Barmby, Ryan Giggs and David Beckham having featured in previous years. And Power told SkySports.com TV that he expected his young charges to benefit considerably from their involvement.

Pre-Season Build-Up Continues at Stockport

Manchester City continue their pre-season build-up with a trip to Stockport on Saturday for Jim Gannon’s testimonial. And with the possibility of a first start for new boy George Weah, a healthy crowd is expected for the Edgeley Park clash. City played a testimonial for County physio Rodger Wylde a year ago, and sealed victory thanks to a last-minute effort from Danny Allsopp. However, Stockport had the better of last term’s league clashes, winning at Maine Road in December before holding the Blues to a 2-2 draw in the March return. City could encounter a familiar face in Saturday’s match, with Andy Dibble expected to keep goal for the home side in the absence of Carlo Nash, who has a broken finger.

NEWS – WEAH SIGNING SPECIAL

George Primed for More Success

George Weah is a footballer used to success, having won a host of accolades and major prizes during his career. And Manchester City’s new signing is looking to inspire his latest club to further glory. Weah has played at Monaco, Paris Saint-Germain, AC Milan and on loan at Chelsea. And after landing a host of silverware with the Serie A giants, his brief stint at Stamford Bridge saw him win an FA Cup Winners’ medal. The Liberian international is a former World Player of the Year, a title he won in 1995, and was recently voted the African player of the last century. And he believes his pedigree, allied to the spirit already in the camp, will enable the Blues to achieve genuine success. “I think with the mentality they’ve got from the First Division, they can do great things with the little help that I can add,” the 33-year-old told local radio station BBC GMR. “We want to be a successful club and I see no reason why we cannot be that.”

Plenty to Come from Veteran Weah

George Weah is nearing the end of his career. But both Joe Royle and the 33-year-old himself believe that he is capable of making a big impact on the Premiership during his two-year stay at Maine Road. Despite claims in some quarters that the African legend is past his best, Royle believes that Weah can still call on many of the powers that once made him the world’s best player. And the City manager points to other examples of outstanding talents who are still producing the goods in their thirties. “Ginola’s just moved at 33, Zola’s still playing at 33. I wouldn’t say they were past their best,” he declared. “Yes, you could say he is in his thirties but quality lasts.” The Liberian agrees, promising to give his all for the cause. “Everything I’ve got, I’ll show to people. I’ll make the world know I’m always George Weah,” he vowed.

Royle Counting on Goals fron New Boy

Joe Royle wants only one thing from new signing George Weah. The City manager is looking to his new signing to score the goals which will keep the Blues in the Premiership. Weah showed during his stint at Chelsea last season that he’s capable of scoring goals in England’s top division, netting five times for the London club. And with newly promoted teams often experiencing problems in front of goal at the higher level, Royle has turned to a man whose track record is of the highest quality. “My conversation with him as regards to his style of play for City and the job to be done translates very easily into one word – goals,” the Blues’ boss told the official club website at http://www.mcfc.co.uk/. “That is the style of play we want from him, goals.”

Royle – Deal Shows We Mean Business

Joe Royle is convinced that in George Weah he’s landed a player who will make a big impact on the field next season. But the City manager also believes that the signing of the superstar striker is a mark of the club’s ambitions. Fans had been growing restless as the Blues failed to follow June’s signing of Norwegian international Alfie Haaland with more incoming deals. And as a result, City’s willingness to compete for quality players was being questioned in some quarters. Royle believes that the capture of Weah will put an end to such talk, and hopes that other potential targets will see the signing as evidence of the club’s intentions to build a successful side. “The financial package is not so serious with no transfer fee and we are delighted to pay it,” the Blues’ boss told the official club website at http://www.mcfc.co.uk/. “It is not just signing a player, it is a massive statement for Manchester City.”

City Stars to Learn From A Legend

Joe Royle is looking to new signing George Weah primarily to score goals at first-team level. But the Blues’ boss is also hoping that the presence of the legendary striker will bring the best out of the club’s other players. Royle feels that the arrival of Weah has given everyone at Maine Road a lift. But he’s particularly looking forward to seeing the Liberian’s skills rub off on youngsters like Wright-Phillips, Mike and Killen. “I think [George] will make a big impact with the younger players,” said the City manager. However, even 30-year-old Shaun Goater is looking to improve by playing alongside the one-time World Player of the Year. “I am absolutely delighted to know we have got someone like George,” the Bermudian told the official club website at http://www.mcfc.co.uk/. “He can do a lot for the club and the morale of the players. To be playing and training alongside him gives me the chance to learn a lot.”

City Players Happy With Signing

Manchester City have smashed the club’s wage structure to sign George Weah. But the early indications are that the move will not cause dressing room unrest. Weah’s rumoured weekly salary of £30,000 is almost three times greater than that earned by even the best paid of his new colleagues. But a source who had the chance to speak to the City players after the reserve friendly at Radcliffe said there was general delight at the move, while several players, including Spencer Prior, Nicky Weaver, Alfie Haaland and Shaun Goater, have spoken positively about the deal. “When the players heard, we just thought, what a signing,” reflected Goater. “I think everyone is really looking forward to it, the staff, the players and of course the supporters. I am absolutely delighted because it shows what we are going to be about this year.”

Lee Hails Weah Capture

Francis Lee’s reign as City chairman saw the club lose its Premiership place. But the former England striker is convinced that, in George Weah, the Blues have landed the perfect man to ensure the same doesn’t happen next season. Lee’s playing pedigree qualifies him to assess the credentials of any striker. And though he feels City may need to add a further couple of players to the squad to get the best out of the new boy, he’s in no doubt as to Weah’s abilities. “He is undoubtedly a tremendous signing,” enthused the former Maine Road chief. “He is a player of outstanding ability. He showed his quality when he played superbly well for Chelsea in the FA Cup final.”

Weah “Turned Down Roma and Monaco”

Joe Royle decided to move to sign George Weah when he heard that the striker was discussing a potential move to Fulham. But the Blues’ boss didn’t just have to overcome opposition from the London club to clinch the signing of the 33-year-old striker. Weah also had offers from France and Italy, including the possibility of returning to his former club Monaco and moving to Serie A giants Roma. However, he was attracted by the prospect of playing in the Premiership and said that the Blues impressed him because the club went out of its way to make him feel he’d be valued. “I had a lot of options,” Weah told local radio station BBC GMR, “but Manchester City did everything they could to get me.”

City Museum Secures Signed Weah Shirt

Manchester City’s museum is due to open in 2003 when the club moves to Eastlands. And the club has already had George Weah sign a City shirt which will be one of the exhibits. Deputy chairman John Wardle played a major rôle in the club’s negotiations with the former World Player of the Year. And Wardle made sure that Weah autographed the shirt as soon as the Liberian had put pen to paper on his two-year contract with the Blues.

Weah May Make Début at Stockport

Manchester City fans will be keen to see George Weah make his début as soon as possible. But Joe Royle will leave the decision on when the new signing will make his début to the player himself. Weah has returned to Manchester after briefly returning to Italy to make arrangements for his family to come and join him in England. Royle says that the 33-year-old is in contention for Saturday’s testimonial game at Stockport – if he feels he’s ready for match action. “I will wait and see how George is in training before we make any decision,” said the City boss. “I will have a chat about it with him after training and see if he feels he is right for Saturday.” If Weah does sit out the Edgeley Park clash, his first outing in a City shirt will come at Oldham next Tuesday.

BERNSTEIN – A FANS’ MAN

Just had to say how refreshing it was to see David Bernstein talking to the fans during the half time at Gillingham. How many other Premiership Chairman would do the same? I imagine not many, especially Edwards, too busy counting the cash from the release of the 999th strip change! I have to say that the match was not entirely awe inspiring, Taylor would have looked more comfortable on Blackpool Beach. SWP while pacey, needs to get in the gym and bulk up, otherwise he’ll be eaten alive up front. I am, however, confident that we can build on the success of the past two seasons.

NELLY YOUNG

I read with interest the stories about Nelly Young. He was an important part of what was probably the best City team in my lifetime. Although people talk of Bell and Lee and Summerbee (perhaps because they went to Mexico, hi ho), the late sixties team was truly a team with no real weakness. Tueart and Barnes and Marsh entertained us greatly but the team wasn’t as complete. As mentioned by other correspondents Nelly scored some critical and famous goals, and some beautiful scorchers from outside the box. He was one of those players who could score at any time when he got the ball in space behind the strikers. I don’t have the ability to remember many individual goals from last week, let alone 30 years ago, but strangely I always had a memory of one he scored against Leeds at Maine Road, probably in the league winning season. I was amazed that someone else (Malcolm Plaiter) seems to be remembering the same goal. One writer suggested that a testimonial was offered at one point. If it was then it should be given now. Even if it was not promised it would be a great gesture from the club. I think that efforts should be made to persuade the club to grant a testimonial. Maybe one half could feature some of the fat old bast*rds from that era. At least half of them seem to be still around in some capacity.

On a closely related subject, one of your younger readers asked if Franny really was a diver. Absolutely. He was incapable of staying on his feet if trying to turn a defender in the box. He’d score high marks for artistic impression on the way down. He also scored high marks for timing. I seem to remember that the dives were more predictable in 0-0 or close games. He fully deserved the nickname Lee OnePen.

REDDISH BRANCH OF THE CSA

The first meeting of the new Premiership campaign for the Reddish Branch of the CSA will be on Wednesday 9th August at The Ash Hotel, Manchester Road, Stockport starting at 8.00pm. Confirmed guests are Richard Burgess and Andy Buckley from BBC GMR 95.1FM along with Paul Hince and Chris Bailey from the Manchester Evening News, as usual all Blues are more than welcome.

TRANSFER TARGETS?

Two suggestions regarding players worth bringing in:

1. Ketsbaia from Newcastle
2. Lauchlan from Kilmarnock (currently out of contract)

RESPONSE TO LINFIELD CRITICISM

So Jim Doran (MCIVTA 628) thinks football has nothing to do with politics.

Jim, everything about football is political, from the price of your ticket to the time that the match kicks-off. Political groups and organisations have always tried to latch on to football for political purposes – from Tony Blair having a kick-about with Kevin Keegan to the BNP organising at Chelsea and Millwall.

Linfield is obviously regarded as a ‘Protestant’ club and judging from my visit to Windsor Park is used by some people as a focus for sectarianism. It is difficult to ignore a Linfield FC banner featuring two balaclava-wearing paramilitaries – not to mention the number of replica Holland kits being worn. Hence the comments in my match report.

Apologies if my report was overly critical of the Linfield players. What I clumsily tried to convey was that they are a part-time team and that this was obvious.

Finally though Jim, if you think that half a dozen people singing Munich songs constitutes an atmosphere then you really need to get out more.

MCFC ON THE ROAD

On the way back from Gillingham on Sunday afternoon we passed a lorry parked up alongside the A50 outside Uttoxeter which was fully emblazoned with the MCFC logo on the back and the club crest across the side of it. I am not just talking about a mini-kit in the back window, here this one had the eagle and crest across the back of the trailer and Manchester City Football Club written down the side with mcfc.co.uk underneath. Across the roof of the cab was the EIDOS logo. I swear I had not touched a drop, especially as I had already driven 200 miles at this point. Does anyone know the origins of this lorry. Is it owned by the club? and if so what does it carry? Jamie Pollock’s shorts? George Weah’s wallet? We should be told.

OOOH YOU MUSICAL YOUTH OF TODAY!

“Look, I dunno love, just drop it, it’s been over a week now”, I pleaded with her. “But you know I love it? You know the way it used to be? We’d have some virtually every other night”, she persisted. I knew she was right and felt a tinge of guilt, but what could I do? Times had moved on and I couldn’t let her sway me now. There was little she could do to change the situation now. “Yes I know pet, but… look, it’s like everything else it doesn’t last, I got sick of it after a while, wanted to try something else… you know?”, I paused to see if it had sunk in. Obviously it hadn’t. “For crying out loud babes…”, maybe a change of pet-name would get me further, “… not everyone likes Battenburg cake and I’m sure Simon Curtis isn’t any different, now can we please drop it? Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is on next pet, there’s enough Battenburg cakes in that to kill a brown dog!”

Ha, you mucky pups! Me being Simon? He being me? Knowing Simon he’s probably thinking “cool… they think I’m as hard and straight and cool as Cathal”, but I feel – having been offered the smelly end of this particular stick – that I must step in and re-assert my identity. Here I am and me is myself. Whilst I’m at it, I’d like to thank those of you who took the time to write to me to ask if I was also pretending to be the young German lad who wrote in to McVittee two or three issues ago, describing himself as “drunken”. Ooooh you whipper-snappers, you wait ’til see you at TG2000! We’ll see who’s drunken then. Ehhhm… yeah, that’s right.. yep!

I just wanted to add a few words to the ongoing and thoroughly poptastic musical debate of the past couple of weeks (and as this is not going to make it by Monday night’s issue, probably also in the last issue too). It really has been triumphant, a cathedral of sound-bites, tour de force etc. but before I go much further with this piece I’d like – in agreeing with the opinions previously aired – that the likes of Queen and M-People and all that tosh have no business being in our football stadium. If I were a City player <I pause briefly for cold shower> I’d demand to be transfer listed before I set foot on the hallowed turf to be accompanied by the plodding cringe-a-minute monotony of “Yaz And The Plastic Population”. I’m quite sure they didn’t arrive at this name purely by coincidence.

Now, I was going to do an exhaustive search of my own CD’s etc. to see if I could come up with a few new suggestions but, as is the way with the best laid plans of mice and men, I found myself getting more concerned that my sun-tan was fading. This didn’t last long though as I soon remembered that I’m not Simon Curtis after all and that my sun-tan is only on the arm that hangs out the window of the car. My Manta-Arm, as they call it here whether you drive an orange Opel Manta or not. Not such a bad thing that it’s fading back to it’s normal shade of blueish white. It should match the other one again soon.

One, two, three, four paragraphs and I still haven’t got to the point… anyone in any doubt as to my identity now? I think not. Like I said, I wanted to, but unfortunately didn’t manage to get to listen to many tunes in preparation for this piece which doesn’t really matter as I’m less interested in picking the coolest band or the hardest front man as this sadly doesn’t exist in music anymore. Bands today, if they were they to go on a world tour, would have to hire outside help if they wanted to strike fear into the hearts of hotel managers around the globe.

Therefore there will be no mention of the likes of Back Street Boys or Boyzone (even though I can’t think of a single suitable song / cover version from either of these) as I don’t think leaving a trail of chipped coffee cups or mysteriously crusty curtains is one of the traits normally associated with a band expecting to successfully arouse the rabble at the beginning of a footy match. I speak however, with no concrete details of the current demographic breakdown at Maine Road and must therefore assume that my exclusion will, for the best part, be accepted and understood.

The tune chosen for the entrance of City, Super City, should be just enough to cue the start of the singing of the Blues and not give us all something to sway along to. Now, I quite like the “Right Here, Right Now” track apparently favoured by most of you out there, but have to admit to getting somewhat bored with it lately. Whilst it’s quite anthemic in a swirling sort of way, it never really seems to, well, get going properly. After few minutes you’ve pretty much heard all it has to offer. Twice. I’d prefer they play “Praise You” from the same CD, a tune with the added bonus of the presence of a real musical instrument (piano) in the mix, as I believe the kids say.

At least “Praise You” has a lyrical opening which reminds, nay instructs us, that when we hail the entrance of the lads we should do this bit ourselves without relying too much on the number of beats-per-minute some pimply gimp managed to squeeze out of a knackered washing machine as he records it through a variety of reverse tape delays, phasers and samplers. Constantly fretting about whether his tie dyed amp-covers will afford his image the correct degree of zany popmeister chic is only an indicator that he’s ended up at Maine Road having lost on his way to the Swamp. It’s Midi-Madness. Makes me want to wah-wah. “Sir, would you mind explaining exactly how the curtains got in that state? What is that anyway? Toothpaste? I’m araid this will be appearing on your bill.”

“We’ve come a long, long way together, through the hard times and the good, I have to… celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like I should”. Ding a ling. Clear as a bell. Cue North Stand, Kippax etc.

Once this initial line is almost spoken as an instruction you can pretty much forget the remaining lyrics (which are the same anyway) as they should be drowned out by the Blue Army. That’s what we’re there for after all. The chosen tune needs only to get things moving and provide an initial-tempo guide so the real singing can begin. Why noone to date has had the idea of recording the sound of the North Stand in full song and releasing it to the public is a fair ways beyond me.

The new adverts on Sky speak of new money, new grounds, new this and new that in the build up to the new season and have allocated “new songs” as the contribution City will make to the atmosphere in a new Premiership season. Again, this didn’t happen by accident.

Opposing teams should count themselves lucky that they are allowed to make their initial approach to the pitch from the Main Stand tunnel and are probably very grateful they aren’t made to scramble up the slope behind the Gene Kelly Stand and make their entrance directly between the Kippax and North Stands. I doubt that more than five players would survive the journey, their comrades having abandoned them in favour of barracading themselves in the team coach in a gibbering heap and begging the driver to set down his jazz mag, to retain the loose musical connection, and drive them home.

Many many Blue Moons ago I wrote a Why Blue, in which I recalled my first ever visit to Maine Road and the first encounter with the almost visible sound waves which licked the pitch from all sides. I described it as the sound of songs delivered with the musical competence of twenty thousand pub singers.

I’ve still heard nothing yet from a speaker, headphone or at a concert to compare with the hair-on-the-neck raising crescendo of the Kippax, or the nose bleed inducing noise of the North Stand. Even the murmur from the Main Stand sweeps Queen from the floor and the polite patter from Platt Lane firmly seals the Plastic Population in a double-wrap-fresh-forever cocoon. All that remains is to stick ’em in a time capsule and bury them on the Isle of Man for some Rag from outer space to discover in years to come.

Nor do we want music piped in to let us know a goal has been scored. Jesus would surely weep. We may as well erect a perspex wall around the pitch, confiscate Helen’s bell and furnish her with a spanking new Wurlitzer organ so we can watch the footy buried chest deep in popcorn and enjoy the atmosphere of a real ice-hockey match. Dah dah dah dah dah-dahhhh!

“On closer inspection sir, it would appear not to be toothpaste!”

Willy Wonka said (when Roald Dahl wrote it down for him): “We write the songs we sing, and we dream the dreams.” The music needed to welcome City onto the pitch has always been there. A power cut can’t get in the way. Twenty three thousand have paid their subscriptions to the Guild of Pub Singers in advance and ten thousand more will show up to sit shoulder to shoulder with them and sing the songs we wrote for the team we love so dearly.

Just as well I didn’t get bogged down in searching through thousands of tracks when the singers we need don’t even have record deals. Yet.

Now Simon, those pills, did you take the one that made the mirror melt and crawl up your arm and down your throat or did you choose the Blue one like I told you to? Morphius, that scamp, always up to his tricks. For those unconvinced that Simon and I are indeed completely separate entities I’ll make sure both Simon and I are photographed together at TG2000. I’ll have my only tanned arm around his shoulder and he’ll be standing in a puddle of joke wee, spoon-feeding Battenburg cake to my wife. Youth of today… tcha.

SUPERSTITIONS/WEAH

Just a couple of very quick points while I think about it.

(A) Superstitions

In MCIVTA 627 Nick Phillips contributed a piece about superstitions and listed the games he attended last season asking if anyone could beat his record of P8-W8-D0-L0. If you correct the score Nick stated for the Forest game at Maine Road to 1-0 rather than the 2-0 printed you have goal stats of F13-A3 (GD+10). Pretty nifty result. Most respectable. I’m in a similar position Nick in that it’s not possible to get to games regularly and so managed to get my sorry corpse to Maine Road on only six occasions last season as follows:

Palace:  2-1 win
Soton:   0-0 draw (WC 1st leg)
Swindon: 3-0 win
Grimsby: 2-1 win
Bolton:  2-0 win
Crewe:   4-0 win

Whilst it is not as impressive as eight wins and a bagful of goals I’m very pleased with my own record from last season, which reads P6-W5-D1 (in the cup) L0-F13-A2 (GD+11). I’m quite proud of my 2.2 goal per game aggregate. Anyone care to try and beat it with fewer or an equal number of games? Your prize will be a (probably just about still in-date) Battenburg cake which will be awarded at TG2000 for your winning entry. I believe it tastes just as good/foul whether it’s dunked in coffee or Boddies.

(B) George Weah

I’m sure this issue will be full of articles about what must be seen as an incredible signing for City, and one which will probably never be bettered. Joe, David et al thank you so much. Now, I’m not going to dwell too long (really) on my own thoughts about how stunned I still am at this news but whilst waxing lyrical down at the old BlueView board this afternoon I noticed that one of the BVers posted a link to a short biography of George Weah on http://www.allfootball.com/, which contained the following info to be filed in the “trivial-but-interesting / make a song out of it” folder:

His complete name is George Manneh Oppong Ousman Weah. George is his English name, Manneh is the name of his family’s etnia, the “Kru” tribe, Oppong is the nickname with which his friends called him because his similarities with the play of Charles Oppong, a famous forward from Guinea, Ousman is the name of a Moslem prophet and Weah was adopted after converting to the Moslem religion.

Anyone for “… they call him Oppong, singing his song… Geoooorgie Weah!” I reckon George would appreciate being treated as a mate seeing as he is a City fan too.

That’s all I wanted to say… more tiresome hindrances to be dealt with now. Eeny meeny miney mo…

OPINION – THAT WAS THEN AND THIS IS NOW – WOW!

Picture the scene – May 1998, Stoke/Manchester/wherever… you have just watched your beloved City (the only City that is, not Stoke!) get relegated and as the tears start to fill your eyes, you have a visit from your fairy godmother who tells you not to despair: “In 2 years time your beloved City will be back in the Premiership and will have just signed George Weah – yes that George Weah, former World Footballer of the Year and one of the best strikers of his, and probably any, generation.”

“Like f**k”, you say as you start to kick-in your fairy godmother for taking the p**s at such a moment. Hands up those who would have thought it? I guess no one is sat at their PC putting their hands up right now! This does show that City are definitely back!

OPINION – TERRY COOKE

In response to David Kilroy’s views on some of Joe’s mistakes, he puts Terry Cooke in amongst these. Ok so last season proved he has a lot to prove because he can’t expect to walk into the team, but let’s not forget that this is the guy who spurred our promotion out of Division 2 forward. And as for Danny Granville, I don’t rate him as a failure. Danny Tiatto links better with Kennedy, but as the left back slot always seems to be a problem area, it’s nice to know we have someone of his quality as “back-up”.

OPINION – TRANSFER ACTIVITY

Worried about Joe?

Weah if it happens is a good deal but £4M on Wanchope is not! £6M on Koller was better value for money. Also it is clear we need a right back, why did we not try for Petrescu? I don’t want to put the cat amongst the pigeons but our relegation competitors our getting some good buys and leaving us behind! What about Southgate instead of Ugo? What has happened to Thompson? Camara would be another waste of money. Come on Joe!

OPINION – MUSIC BEFORE GAMES

I agree with M Joyce. A selection of radio commentary highlights over music would be really good. I seem to remember the old fanzine ‘Blueprint’ did it with a flexi disc a few years ago and it sounded really good, and it would be easy to do.

So, has big Joe been hiding his transfer skills under a bushell. Weah and Wanchope in the same day. Aren’t Wanchope and Goater a bit similar, both scorers of unlikely looking goals?

P.S. How can Kennedy be playing so well for City whilst also being in the Big Brother house, pretending to be called Thomas?

OPINION – A FEW GRIPES

So we’ve signed Weah and Wanchope (or have we?). I’ve been trying to get some definitive news as to whether he’s signed or not, so I tried to see if http://www.mcfc.co.uk/ had the latest news. When I looked 16:00ish on Tues 1st Aug, it was still saying that we hoped to sign him. The definitive answer came from http://www.manchesteronline.co.uk/, who said that he’d signed. I would have thought that with as something as important as a signing then the official site would have the news hot off the press, not delayed.

Now my gripe: does anyone have an contact (email) address that I can use to air my disappointments with the current http://www.mcfc.co.uk/ site? It’s full of glaring errors.

There’s several I’ve spotted, I mean FFS, where did we get Weah from? “The thirty-three-year-old striker, who was World Player of the year in 1995 and African Footballer of the Century in 1999, is on a free from Inter Milan and has been the subject of interest from several other clubs including First Division Fulham.”

It certainly wasn’t Inter Milan – I’m sure George would be impressed with that.

Also since when did City play in the 1976 FA Cup Semi final (look on the multimedia section – the video clips); weren’t the semi’s between Rags and Derby at Hillsborough and Soton and Palace at Stamford Bridge?

Richard Asa Hartford   - 1976 FA Cup Semi-Final
Alan Arthur Oaks       - 1976 FA Cup Semi Final
Peter Simon Barnes     - 1976 FA Cup
Joseph Thomas Corrigan - 1976 FA Cup

As for the signing, a bit of a coup, let’s hope they can both perform. Weah 5 in 18 and Wanchope 17 goals in a injury interrupted season can’t be all bad.

OPINION – GEORGE WEAH

On Monday morning I went into a deep depression. Why was I depressed? Well, the world and his wife were signing players, even Bradford had signed a ‘big’ name player. Leicester’s new manager can’t spend quickly enough. The top five were strengthening their teams and the only signing that we had made was a utility player – so you can see the reason for my depression.

On Tuesday morning I was in seventh heaven. We were reported to be signing George Weah and Paulo Wanchope. George Weah? No weah? I know he’s supposed to be a City fan, but George Weah at Maine Road, nah!

Well it’s Wednesday morning and it’s been confirmed, he has signed a two year contact and expects to get us into Europe – steady on George!

After the Blackburn game I firmly believed that we wouldn’t be relegated, although having attended both pre-season games in Ireland I was beginning to waver. Now I’m optimistic about the future.

George Weah is a good signing – regardless of the few Reds in my office who keep pointing out that he’s not the player that he was – could this be jealousy? after all we’ve signed a world player of the year – and they’ve only signed a World Cup and European Cup winner, well, he’s not as good as Nicky – anyway I digress. With both signings we have a real chance of staying in the top flight. All we need now is an attacking midfield player and Ugo Ehiogu and we’ll finish in the top ten – steady on Averil!

Happy days are here again.

OPINION – RAG STRIP

On the news this morning I saw Man Utd unveil their 19th new strip in 8 years. It all goes to prove that Rag supporters are champions of the “dumb” stakes… and their club takes advantage of the distinct lack of grey matter between their ears. Sad b*****ds!

OPINION – MUSIC

Now that we have signed the main man from Milan, a suggestion for a new song has come up. They could play this as the team run out or maybe the fans on the terraces could sing it. I am not sure of the artist but the lyrics are ‘boom boom boom, let me hear you say Weah, Weah!’

OPINION: THE MUEN – THE BATTLE CONTINUES TO RAGE ON!

(by Noel Bayley – editor of Bert Trautmann’s Helmet)

I feel I should pre-empt my latest ramblings by revealing that I spoke to Mike Barnett the other day and there were no hard feelings, no black eyes, broken bones or anything re. the MUEN – well, not yet anyway! Perchance, I spoke to Mike on the day City announced the sensational news that they had signed the former European, African and World Player Of The Year, George Weah. Surely that must be front page news in the local rag? Not a bit of it! So what earth-shattering event, you may wonder, knocked this story off the front page? Why, the Rags had brought out a new shirt – which even by Umbro’s low standards is pretty poor and no better than a ten pound Top Man t-shirt – and so a half page photo of a 200-strong queue outside The Sty at midnight dominated the front page. Naturally, Mike had his opinion on this too which I’m not at liberty to share, but no-one I’ve spoken to since was very impressed. Of course, City did manage to get a namecheck on the front, albeit with a red and white (!) banner across the very bottom of the page.

Fast forward to today and here’s some news that will no doubt delight Mike. Shame-faced, I bought the red rag this afternoon for the City team picture, but imagine my shock on returning to base to find that I’d also unwittingly invested in a 16-page Rag pullout! My shock was heightened by the recent revelations that the MUEN is experiencing some difficulty in gaining access to the Rags nowadays; how they must have struggled to fill those 16 pages! Anyway, the City team picture is resplendent on my office wall… For the time being at least, as it’s only a matter of time before one of the office Rags gets a mard-on and demands its removal!

While it’s true that City’s match at Burnley merited a report and photo, other amazing revelations i.e. ‘Ex-United chiefs’ souvenirs for sale’ (pg. 11) and ‘Reds fans feel shirty over mail order blues’ (pg. 13) received the same amount of coverage in the ‘News’ pages. If this is news then they can shove it, but if you could ever want a snapshot of the local football scene as the MUEN sees it, you only need to look at the front page where a banner advert placed in a prime position immediately beneath the masthead screams out ‘Reds 2000’ and is complemented by the cross-eyed kid himself, Giggsy, whilst, at the very bottom of the page, is another red and white (!) banner which simply states: ‘City Team Poster – See Sport Pull-Out’.

I won’t be buying the Rags’ rag again which is a shame because I think a Private Eye style ‘Hackwatch’ is merited. In fact, I could probably turn it into a lifetime’s vocation; Mike Barnett probably thinks I already have done! Sadly, just two issues this week have merely confirmed what I and many others already knew about the MUEN: it is unbelievably biased.

OPINION – HERO WORSHIP

Great news about George Weah but I feel there is a need for City fans not to get carried away with hero worship like we did with Kinkladze. Joe Royle has managed to achieve a great team spirit at Maine Road and it would be a great disappointment if that was lost because the fans decided to single out Weah for praise at the cost of making the rest of the team feel like ‘also-rans’. After all it was this squad, minus Weah, who have battled so hard with that ‘never say die’ attitude that has got us where we are today, back in the Premiership where we belong! Really looking forward to the new season and all the challenges it is going to present. Let’s get behind all the squad and together we might just surprise some people.

OPINION – SIGNINGS

I know that I have been guilty of adding to the musical debate, but as someone (I apologise I can’t find the message now) mooted recently in MCIVTA, we should just be excited by the mere mention of Manchester or the sight of Dickov scoring at Wembley/Blackburn. However, the signing of Weah must be the most exciting signing ever; if ever the club needed to be shaken from the pre-season slumber then this is one hell of a way to do it. Weah is a superb recommendation of where we want to go. I know he’s 33 but the ability which made him footballer of the year, and which saw him score that goal for AC Milan, must still be there, and if anything it can only be a good thing for the developing talents of Wright-Phillips, Mike et al. It reminds me a little of big Cyrille Regis ending his playing career at Chester, the old touches were there, though he couldn’t quite last a full 90 minutes but it was worth being in the presence of such a great player, I’m sure we’ll be saying the same of Weah (the presence bit, not his inability to last 90 minutes).

As for Wanchope, if he signs then (I think I’m echoing a common trend) I hope he scores the winner against Man U considering his good scoring record against them. As someone said on Radio 5 last night, Joe brought the best out of the inconsistent Goat so there is no reason why he can’t do the same with Onechop. If we completed the signing of Ehiogu and Cooke comes back into favour, or someone else learns how to play on the right-wing with the same effectiveness as Kennedy does on the left, then we should be good enough to survive this season – a nice cup run could be in the offing as well.

I cannot wait until August 19th… roll on Charlton, it is going to be one hell of a season.

OPINION – EXCELLENT MOVE

Thought I had to write to say what an excellent move by Joe to land George Weah, who I know to be a fantastic footballer, as well as a City fan. I, like many others, thought that we were not going to get any new players before the start of the season but once again Joe has played it very close to his chest and come up with the goods. This move makes the impending season potentially even more exciting.

OPINION – MEN DEBATE

The current debate re the Manchester Evening News and its supposed bias towards the Trafford club is a variation on the biased referee/ rag-loving radio commentator/ all-about-reds television channel one but nonetheless still ridiculous.

We have to accept that over the last few years they have been the most successful football business in the UK. There are more stories to tell about them. I expect to be presented with more to read about them. My local evening paper (the M.E.N.) knows that a lot of its readers are interested in successful businesses as well as good stories so it’s not hard to see why very many stories are written about them.

Over most of the last few years City have been playing terrible football in a subsidiary division or two. Why should we expect the same coverage as our despised rivals? We have not deserved it.

Now we are back is the time to judge the alleged bias in the M.E.N. There won’t be any to see, I’m sure.

BTW, the only time I read an article, listen to a report or watch a recording of one of their matches is if they have lost. In this blissful state of mine they have never won a game or a trophy and no one has ever had a good word to say about them. Try it.

REQUEST – PINK FINAL

Born In Aussie and having supported MC since I was eight years old (some 32 yrs, I saw The Blues when they toured Western Australia in 1970). Having travelled to Maine Road many times over the last twenty years and having worked in the UK, I have always enjoyed the ‘Pink Final’ and wondered is this accessable over the Internet? I would love to get my hands on any info if possible. Finally Why I’m Blue: because my father is a Rag supporter and with City being the greatest team do I need any other reason!

REQUEST – HAALAND WEBSITE

Does anyone know the address of the infamous Alfie Haaland website? And does anyone know of any other City player websites? Apart, of course from http://www.shaungoater.co.uk/, which is excellent.

REQUEST – CHARLTON TICKETS

Anyone got one spare ticket for Charlton (18th Aug)? Will pay over the odds or supply shedloads of beer for the privilege.

REQUEST – BLUE MOON RINGTONES

In reply to Gary Sowerby’s request for a ‘Blue Moon’ ringtone for his Nokia phone, if you visit http://www.yourmobile.com/ you can request ringtones to be sent direct to your phone free of charge. For some reason, it seems to miss the second note out! Apart from that it’s pretty good.

REQUEST – TRAVEL FROM BRUM

Calling all exiled Blues in Birmingham:

If there are any City fans in the Birmingham area who regularly go to the matches and would like to split the travel expenses, then drop me a line.

BLUE HUMOUR

Einstein was invited to a party. When one of the guests introduced himself, Einstein was quick to notice he was of above average intelligence and asked what his IQ was. “240” said the man. “Fantastic” said Einstein. “Would you care to discuss scientific issues and the theory of relativity?” he enquired. They chatted at length until eventually a young lady interrupted and introduced herself to Einstein. “And might I ask what your IQ is?” he enquired. “145” she answered. “Great, let’s talk politics.”

A while later Einstein was introduced to a young man. “And what is your IQ?” he asked. “6” said the man. “Right” said Einstein, “So what’s new at Man United?”

(Told by a Rag-hating Arsenal-supprting DJ on SA’s Radio Five)

P.S. It really is nauseating. I work near a large shopping mall in the outlying suburbs of Cape Town. Entering the complex this week I noticed a sea of red banners announcing the imminent arrival of the new official Man United strip, with posters of their players modelling the gear. Doesn’t their global marketing strategy remind you more and more of Walt Disney?

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DISCLAIMER
The views expressed in MCIVTA are entirely those of the subscribersand there is no intention to represent these opinions as being thoseof Manchester City Football Club, nor of any of the companies anduniversities by whom the subscribers are employed. It is not inany way whatsoever connected to the club or any other relatedorganisation and is simply a group of supporters using this mediumas a means of disseminating news and exchanging opinions.

Ashley Birch, mcivta@tollbar.u-net.com

Editor: