Newsletter #805

Sunday’s 3-1 (Howey, Goater, Macken) victory over Portsmouth saw the club record of 108 goals scored equalled and us finish on 99 points. A fantastic atmosphere with the game designated ‘flag day’ and the presentation of the winners’ medals and Division One trophy after the game.

Tonight sees match report thanks to Sharon, plenty of opinion, a few requests, more transfer rumours, pre-season news and an ode to the Blues.

Apologies for the delay, ISP problems 🙁

MATCH REPORT: MCFC 3 PORTSMOUTH 1

Ah what a glorious day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the little lambs were gambolling in the fields not knowing the crop of mint in the field next door had sinister connotations, and even the M6 only had one traffic jam on it. Well, OK, two. If you don’t count the one in the roadworks south of Birmingham. Or the one in the roadworks north of Birmingham. Having failed miserably to get a flag from the club shop as they’d sold out early that morning (plus ça change and all that) I took my seat in time to watch the teams come out from the tunnel for what’s probably the first time this season – somehow we always seem to manage to stay in the pub just 3 seconds too long. Even when we haven’t arrived in time to go to the pub. It’s a real knack.

Huckerby was back, as expected, with Macken dropped to the bench. Full team was Nash, some dozy past it left back, Dunne, Howey, SWP, Jensen, Tiatto, Horlock, Ali B, Goater and Huckerby. The Portsmouth fans had just the Gene Kelly – we felt a bit guilty about putting away fans in there for a whole millisecond, after all I’ve stood in that freezing windy unsafe uncovered terrace they call a stand at Portsmouth the last two times we’ve played them down there and watched crap football. At least they got to watch a decent game. The place looked fantastic – from where we sit towards the Platt Lane end of the Kippax we have to lean forward to see the Gene Kelly, so it looked as if the whole place was full of City. The people who had managed to get flags (grumble grumble) were waving merrily away, those who hadn’t – like me – were moaning that they couldn’t see the pitch…

I’d (only half) jokingly gone for a 3-1 Portsmouth win in the car on the way up but they way we played in the first 15 minutes they weren’t going to have three kicks, never mind three shots or goals. Every time Pearce (the dozy past it left back) got the ball the entire crowd screamed “SHOOT!” at him. No matter where he was on the pitch. We deservedly took the lead after less than ten minutes – Pearce, sorry TDPILB took the corner (“SHOOT!”) and when it was only knocked back out to him (“SHOOT!”), he put a lovely hard cross over for Howey to head easily past Beasant. Good goal. We were way on top of this game – as they were attacking the North Stand I was getting a crick in my neck leaning forwards all the time. Portsmouth’s chances were limited to a couple of free kicks about 5 yards outside the area. Good tactic by Portsmouth – they ran to a point about 5 yards or so outside the area on the left hand side then stopped and waited for someone to foul them. Then Prosinecki could take a free kick. He’s past it though, just like someone else I could name (“SHOOT!”). After about 25 minutes City scored their second. TDPILB (“SHOOT!”) passed the ball to Ali B, who played the ball forward to Goater. For once he overhit the pass (or so we thought) and it went straight to Beasant. Howeve, Ali B’s powers have obviously extended beyond merely being the most skilful player to grace Maine Road for years and now include clairvoyance. For Beasant dropped the ball. At Goater’s feet. Ooops. 2-0. Ali knew he was going to do that of course – why play a pass to one of our players when you can play it to theirs and give the crowd a comedy moment?

Second half started pretty much the same way. Tiatto should have made it 3-0 when he received the ball from about half way inside the Pompey half and ran into the area, but could only hit it wide. TDPILB (“SHOOT!”) was having a go at getting the ball straight in from a couple of corners but not having much luck – worth a pop though. The main problem with TDPILB going up field was that our defence started to look very shaky without him – and this worries me for next year. Portsmouth were definitely starting to get more in the game, and it wasn’t too much of a surprise given our propensity to concede when they scored one. Theirs was also from a corner although I couldn’t see who bundled it over the line. Wake up City. It didn’t look as if they’d score another though and in fact always looked more likely as if we’d get a third. Macken came on for Goater and had what I thought was his best game so far. Huckerby got caught offside. Several times. With about 10 minutes to go we thought Pearce, I mean TDPILB was going to get his goal. Ali B (who else) had the ball wide on the left hand side when suddenly a steam train arrived in the area, bearing TDPILB on it. “PASS!” screamed the crowd at Ali. So pass he did. “SHOOT!” yelled the crowd at TDPILB – not for the first time. Shoot he did – somehow it went agonisingly wide of the left hand post. Having realised he wasn’t going to score in open play, the crowd then decided it was their job to try and get a penalty. Unfortunately Huckerby didn’t realise what was expected of him so instead of going down in the area whenever anyone breathed anywhere near him (“DIVE!”) he developed a most annoying habit of trying to stay on his feet and shoot himself. Oh for an Emile Heskey when you need one. At least we managed to get a third – Berkovic, who’d come on for a below par Tiatto, put the ball into Macken, who was completely unmarked and chipped the ball over the onrushing Beasant. A great goal, if he can score 20 like that next season we might stay up.

Was that it? Was the drama complete? Were we to say goodbye to Stu TDPILB without him having the chance to get that goal? Would Huckerby ever take the hint and dive (“DIVE!”) in the area? Would the ref do us a favour and give a dodgy handball decision against a most unfortunate defender in order to let one of the greatest English players ever step up and write his way into the history books? Wahey! Picture the scene… it’s a gloriously sunny day, the birds are singing (oh no sorry I’ve done that already let’s roll on 105 minutes to injury time at the end of the second half). In comes the ball to the penalty area. “PENALTY!” screamed the crowd – not for the first time. “Oh OK then” thinks the referee – “PARP!” goes his whistle. “YEAH!” screams the crowd. Up trots Stu TDPILB, getting pats on the back from both teams, the linesmen and the ref on the way. Out comes Beasant to have a word: “just get it on target Stu me old mate, I’m not going to save it”. The crowd fall silent. The traffic noise stops. The plane flying above switches its engines off so as to not distract him. Stu puts the ball on the spot. He steps back four steps. The worms stick their heads up for a look. 34,000 people get their cameras ready to take a photo of the historic moment. My mum whispers “he’s going to miss it”. Beasant sits down to watch. Stu draws back his foot… WHAM! the poor person sitting in the twelfth row of the Platt Lane slowly collapses to the floor, the words “ADIDAS” forever imprinted on his forehead.

He missed it. Injury time of his final game. And he missed it. The dozy past it git. “You idiot” said the ref.

So that was it really. The end. 99 goals. Dopey fool. Why did he blast it so hard? Why did he just get it on target? Why didn’t the ref decide Beasant had moved and let him retake it? Why was it that we weren’t surprised?!

After the game we had the trophy presentation (nice touch – Dickov came out to tie the ribbons on the cup), then the Player of the Year presentation to Ali B and a special presentation to Stu for his services to football. He even gave a little speech saying this was the best possible way to bow out (apart from missing the pen surely Stu?) and how he’d like to apologise for missing the penalty. What a fantastic bloke he is. The players did two laps of honour with Ali B carrying the cup for most of both laps, with the biggest smile on his face I’ve ever seen. On the second lap Stu went over to the penalty spot by Platt Lane and re-enacted his penalty for us – without the ball this time – oddly enough the first two times he did that he missed it as well. It was only when he kicked it (or waved his foot anyway) gently at the net that it finally went in, to one of the biggest cheers of the day. The only bigger cheer was the one that went up when we saw the Baggies had won and had got promotion instead of Wolves – tee hee very funny.

So that was it, the end to a truly superb season. I’ve enjoyed watching some of the football we’ve played this year more than any other year I can remember. I – like many others – was less than sure it was the right thing to do when Bernstein got Keegan to come to the club, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We’ve played some wonderful, fluent football and we’ve won the league by ten points. I don’t care if we do get relegated next year (although I think there’s a 17th place with our name on it!), it’s been worth it to have enjoyed this year as much. So thanks Kev, it’s been great.

And for those far-flung Blues who would like to savour the atmosphere at MR on Sunday, try the link here for some photos:

http://www.talkincity.com/newsnow/champs.htm

Thanks to Paul at Talkin’ City.

OPINION: PRE-SEASON FIXTURES

Thought you may find the following link interesting, it’s info regarding a pre-season friendly at Rochdale on Monday, August 5th. Furthermore, the Dale director gives away other info that City are not yet willing to disclose, namely that we will be touring Ireland and Germany, returning from Germany on August 4th.

http://www.rochdaleafc.co.uk/today/view/breaking_news_detail/0,,10441~210260,00.html

OPINION: PITCH INVASIONS

Everyone who was there knows how great it was to win a trophy after all this time and how we all enjoyed the party. Just one thing makes it all a little hard to swallow.

For a number of weeks we (the cash up front City Fan) have been warned by our chairman, manager, players, even the M(U)EN not to go on the pitch at the end of any game to celebrate or we could face “some form of severe punishment” as a club. That is a quote from Sunday’s programme.

Now I am not condoning pitch invasions, but in celebration City fans have been know to run on a pitch or two. God knows we have had little enough to celebrate over the last decade or two.

I mention all this because on watching TV this evening I see both fans of West Brom and Mansfield invading their respective pitches in celebration upon gaining promotion. Will these clubs face “some form of severe punishment”? I doubt it. Is it one law for them and one for City? Or am I being paranoid?

Is it to much to ask the FA to have the same rules for everyone?

OPINION: FUTURE SIGNINGS

Yes, back for another instalment of abuse from the rest of you, the Geist man floweth…

As we all know, having heard my various words of wit (called shining wit where I’m from) and wisdom old KK went out and got the $30 million that he needed for our attack on the Premiership. Macken and Sun soon followed and now we have Schmeichel. I have to admit I laughed myself silly when I heard this, not at his ability, but at the expected reaction from the faithful. Happy to see they haven’t disappointed although the comments within MCIVTA seem quite reasonable.

So bottom line: Schmeichel is a world class ‘keeper who is better than Nash or Weaver. He’s good for the one year when we need someone to be commanding with our defence while we get our feet back in the Premiership and then he’s gone. In a perfect world either Nash or Weaver responds magnificently to the influence and improves as a goalkeeper. If not then KK goes out and gets another ‘keeper. However, the long-term benefit of the Schmeichel deal will be Ellegaard and the young Dane’s overall development. The kicker, all of the above on a Bosman. Yeah he’s an ex-Rag. Tough, get over it.

Using Bosman players intelligently will be the key to making us a major player in the market. We can, and did, debate my opinions about the overall strength of the squad but the fact remains that we don’t have enough money to buy all the quality players that we need. Judicious use of Bosman will be the critical difference.

Unlike most, I would not have been disappointed if Ince had joined. We are going to need a couple of experienced Premiership veterans, one in midfield and one in defence, to provide some additional backbone. Ince’s experience with ‘Boro rather than the Rags is what I’m interested in.

Now to other rumours. The Edgar Davids one was beyond silly. Sure wor Kev is going to attract high quality talent both this off season and beyond but you are not going to attract one of the top 30 players in the World, who is in his prime (29) without the chance of European football next year. Especially since Holland didn’t qualify for the World Cup, so Dutch players are going to get some rest and be worth even more in the early rounds of next year’s European competitions.

Effenberg is different. He’s an older pro, still World Class, who doesn’t need European football at this point in his career. The Nigerian kid from PSG sounds interesting especially as he is on a Bosman, that one at least makes sense. I’ll be very surprised if we spend £10 million for an untested Italian youth (Maccarone), even one who is apparently supremely talented. That’s a gamble and with our limited funds, in relation to other clubs, we can’t afford a £10 million mistake.

Tonight I see that Derby left full back Danny Higginbotham is now rumored to be on the list. Yeah yeah I know I made the outlandish Derby comments but they really do have at least 3 players that we could use: Higginbotham, Chris Riggott who I really like (a Liverpool target) and Malcolm Christie.

We’ve yet to be connected with Villa’s pair of unwanted players but I’ve always been a huge fan of Steve Stone and Alan Wright is also available. The pair of them would provide the squad Premiership experience that would be useful. Robbie Savage, a thoroughly annoying player, is another who would be useful for a year.

At some point Leeds has to let one of their strikers go. If it was me, I’d sell Viduka to Spain for a large fee and play Keane and Fowler but what do I know? I figure either Smith or Keane is bait this winter and should be snapped up if any chance.

To me KK has two goals. The first is to survive next year and hopefully have a good placement. The second is to then bring through quality youngsters, whether from the Academy or purchased for the second year and beyond. It is here, I believe that Ipswich messed up this past year. They didn’t build on their success and suffered as a result. Schmeichel, Effenberg (if he comes) and any other 30+ high quality player will help lay the groundwork for the following years.

This will be a truly silly off season. City have money, they have Keegan and they are going back to the Premiership. Every name, however far fetched, will be thrown about. It will certainly be entertaining but until Kev announces that a deal is done, don’t believe what you read.

OPINION: THE ACADEMY

Didn’t Academy originate from James H Reeve’s reference “Moss Side Academy of Footballing Excellence”?

When he fronted the old Piccadilly Radio Saturday sport show he made constant reference to this when talking about City.

Presume this is where it came from.

I first heard the term quite a few years ago when James H Reeve used to refer to Maine Road as “The Maine Road Academy of Footballing Science” It’s very much a James H. kind of uttering although it could just as easily be a Stuart Hall one perhaps.

Unless anyone knows any different, I would think that either of these two distinguished media chaps first coined it, although I’m not sure when.

OPINION: NEW BADGE

While the club badge is being redesigned, is there any chance we can get those three stars across the top taken off? Stars like that on a strip are used to signify a world championship, be it a World Cup victory or a World Club Championship.

And what was wrong with the old round design anyway?

OPINION: VARIOUS

Not contributing in a while, I thought it was time again to put fingers on the keyboard!

Point 1 – I agree wholeheartedly if we cannot have terrace humour any more then why bother going to the game; it is part of our culture and long may it continue. I wish all these “PC” people would go back down the hole they came from; no wonder socially this country’s in a mess, just look at the level of youth crime, do you not think this has anything to do with the abolishment of corporal punishment in schools!?

Point 2 – What a season! I would just like to thank KK all his backroom staff and the players for implementing his vision out on the pitches of England. Now words can describe the elation I have felt this season, and to that subscriber earlier in the season who said player for player Derby are better, one question – where are they heading!

Point 3 – Two wishes for next season, top ten and stuff the Rags at least once.

P.S. A message to Dave Blyth: God forbid we sign that “big time charlie”; anybody but him. Please Kev please don’t sign him.

OPINION: PC TERRACE HUMOUR

I’m a bit late as usual catching up with McV but read with some ironic mirth and perhaps a little incredulity the comments on the ‘Sun Jihai, Chippy’ song. Over the years I’ve seen and heard quite a lot of comment about some of the chants/songs that are sung in the stadia of this country but of them all I thought the ‘Chippy’ song was perhaps the least likely to offend. Obviously I was wrong.

Contributors to McV who have been around for more than a year or two might remember the discussion that raged for several weeks over the issue of ‘Munich’ songs. I wrote an article back then criticising the singing of said verses as being tasteless and a mark of congenital insensitivity. I stand by those comments today but now find myself firmly in the “you’re too sensitive” camp over this latest round of debate.

Football crowds are not a special breed of human being that have carte blanche to practice racism, sexism or for that matter any portion of intolerance. Buying a ticket does not imply immunity from the moral strictures that allow our society to run smoothly. Equally though there should be a recognition that football crowds are by and large made up of people who want to let their hair down and have a rollicking good time and as such occasionally there will be an intemperate remark or comment. Whether you find those comments offensive or not very much depends on the type of personality that you have.

Currently the company I work for are investing heavily in something called ‘Diversity Training’; for those that don’t know it is about helping people to recognise that we are all different. It might sound a bit like stating the obvious but in business circles refusing to recognise diversity has led to a management society dominated by white, Indo-European, heterosexual, married males. As the saying goes “Birds of a feather flock together”. There is a recognition that a large skill base remains untouched because of that ‘positive prejudice’ toward people like oneself. Part of the training focuses on discrimination and the use of humour to reinforce negative discrimination. In a nutshell humour becomes offence when it is contextually inappropriate. Basically I can call someone a nasty name so long as they know I’m only joking without causing offence. To other people stood aloof from such an exchange it may ‘appear’ that I am being insulting to the recipient. Some people might feel obliged to defend the butt of the joke and depending on your point of view those folk are either social heroes or busybodies… it’s all about context.

The world in general has gone PC mad. Political Correctness is turning society into a humourless, heartless, hysterical morass. Visions of Orwellian ‘Thought Police’ stalking the corridors of power looking for infringements of the new moral code are everywhere. Schoolchildren are encouraged not to sing the verses of subversive songs such as “Baa-baa Black Sheep” in case it causes offence to certain ethnic minorities. I’m sure 90% of the population revile this crazy ‘new speak’ just as much as I do. The whole issue has become confused. People know they are being hoodwinked into practicing something that really they don’t believe in. Well my friends I can exclusively reveal why you feel so uneasy about all this moral carping; the reason is simple, you still have a damn good sense of proportion and can determine for yourselves what is and is not morally defensible and therefore what is and is not ‘funny’.

So Messrs Alastair Watt and Wen Yidou (I’m sorry I’m going to have to see the birth certificate before I believe anyone is called “When Ye Do”… a wind-up?) I suggest before you start jumping on the PC bandwagon and criticising people engaged in what is currently a lawful activity, that you get the context of the song correct. Before you preach to us about how uncomfortable it makes you feel and how ultimately racist those of us who found the song funny were, why don’t you write to Sun Jihai and ask him whether he was offended. I suspect he just might tell you to push off and grow up.

OPINION: END OF SEASON THANKS

Just a very inadequate Thank You for all the hard work you all put in, especially appreciated by me getting over problems with a hip replacement and latter-day effect of a double ankle fracture on the other leg. All going well now but you were a lifeline.

I wonder if anyone, during next year’s celebrations during our last year at Maine Road, will give a vote of thanks to all the lovely ladies and gents who used to mind our bikes on Saturday? I think these were the first season tickets ever connected with me and City. Quite a day for me the first home match as my dad, like so many others, paid for space you had the previous year (and in my case dad took me into the posh part with seats). This reserved place enabled you to get there late and yet park your bike. There was no tram from Burnage.

OPINION: THE WICKED WORLD OF THE WEB

Our household is quite new to this t’Internet (copyright Peter Kay) malarkey and my wife is convinced that I spend all my time looking at various web sites featuring ladies in various states of undress – perish the thought! In fact it has become quite a running joke that she announces when she is coming up the stairs with a cup of tea so I can supposedly change websites from the unsavoury to something far more healthy i.e. City’s homepage, King of the Kippax, etc.

Anyway last week after she was chatting to me while I went through my e-mails and afterwards I noticed that the atmosphere between us had become somewhat frosty. After a couple of days I presumed it was because she had found my credit card statement with the true season ticket price on, as for years there has been a two tier pricing structure for my ticket i.e. the price I pay to Maine Road and then the price that I tell the wife. Anyway finally she cracked and blurted out “who’s Heidi Pickup then?” in a very accusatory tone. “What?” I replied, briefly panicked that I hadn’t accidentally e-mailed some bird in a chat room by mistake. “You had an e-mail from a woman called Heidi – is she some sort of porn star?”!

Then all the pieces fell into place and I just cracked up laughing, the thought of someone mistaking all the hard work you do twice a week for the work of a porn baron left me in pieces. It took me ages to convince her the real reason you e-mail me!

Keep up the good work, up the Blues.

OPINION: FILM REVIEW

Bend It Like Beckham (dir. Gurinder Charda, cert. 12) is a film of two halves. The opposing sides (Sikh culture and a teenage Sikh girl who plays football) take a long time to establish some sort of pattern, and it all gets very scrappy around half-time, but the second half picks up, and there is only one winner – the beautiful game.

Billed as East is East meets Billy Elliot, it’s more Jimmy Grimble meets Goodness Gracious Me. Some of the script seems more concerned to go for the comedy stereotypes (the “innit?” slags and the Sikh lads trying to be “lads”, and the Asian matriarchs) than build the characters, but in the end the plot manages to take over and rescue a nice idea that looked like petering out to a draw.

Jessminder (Parminder K Nagra) is the A-level student with a passion for football. Despite that, she supports Man U and is besotted with Beckham, plastering her bedroom with his image and talking to him as a confidant – whereas mum and dad (Shaheen Khan, and Bollywood star Anupam Kher), immigrants from Kenya to England, still prefer to pray before the picture of the Guru on the living room wall of their semi in Hounslow (she’s a United fan, you were expecting Manchester?).

Spotted in a park kickaround by Jules (Keira Knightley), a member of the local women’s football team, Jess begins a series of subterfuges to hide her training and playing, and flirting with the team coach, Joe (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), on whom Jules also has designs. Jules’ mum (Juliet Stevenson, with a performance owing a lot to Alison Steadman from classic TV play Abigail’s Party) thinks her daughter ought to be more interested in scoring lads than goals, while sonless dad (Frank Harper) is the obvious instigator of her love of football. Joe had parental problems that make him tell Jess she’s lucky to have a family that cares that much about her that they want to stop her doing what she wants.

So far, so predictable. It’s as much about parental pressure as anything to do with race (but when the ten-year-old boy in the row behind is coming out with racist remarks, you know there’s a long way to go before the things teenagers have in common are more important than cultural divisions). What finally lifts the film out of the ordinary is the melding of the wedding of Jess’s sister, and her team’s cup final match, a sequence that juxtaposes scenes of disparate but equal joy, perfect for those familiar with ever trying to persuade your partner that while your wedding day was the happiest of your life, it still wasn’t quite as ecstatic as coming back from two-nil down in a Second Division Play-Off final.

It suffers, of course, from the falseness of the football scenes (the old Escape to Victory problem – actors can’t play football and footballers can’t act), and John Motson’s commentary is obviously faked even before (in your dreams) Jess pops up to head in a winner at Old Trafford. The BBC trio (Lineker, Hansen and Barnes) join in the fun, but in the end what brings most hope is the sense of the commonplace – an English recreation ground under the Heathrow flight-path with an ice-cream van going past and a mixed race cricket match on the green.

REQUEST: MILTON KEYNES BLUES

Milton Keynes OSC will be holding their monthly meeting on Thursday April 25th, starting 8pm at the usual venue of Great Brickhill Cricket Club. Please get in touch with me if you would like directions or any other information about the MK Branch.

REQUEST: CITY SONG

Can anyone please tell me where I can buy the “City, Manchester City” song from?

I went into the City shop to buy it only to be told they do not stock it! Anyway I ended up buying a couple of T shirts, City bag, more stickers and a Manchester City steering wheel cover, what a great idea.

Glad to see that Kevin Horlock got recognised for the hard work he put into the team this season.

REQUEST: BROTHER SHIRT

Does Anyone have a Citrus and Navy away shirt (as worn in the 1999 Play Off final) that they would like to sell, size either XL or XXL? Preferably in decent condition.

If so please contact me with price.

REQUEST: BLUES IN JAPAN

Well it’s finally over, City crowned Champions and now it’s on to the World Cup.

Are any Blues going out to Japan for the World Cup?

My son and I will be travelling out on the 31st May for the 1st week. We will be visiting Tokyo, Niigata, Osaka and Kobe.

So, any Blues travelling out there or resident in Japan, drop me a line and we can try a few beers.

HUMEUR BLEU: THE BLUE FOREIGN LEGION

You’ve ‘eard of the French Foreign Legion
Who fought in a far foreign land
‘Gainst a load of uncivilised Tuaregs*
Whilst up to their **ses in sand

Now the French, being French, as the French are
Call all of their legionnaires “Beau”
Except for the leader, Mon General
Who were usually a right so-and-so

There were Beau Legs, Beau Peep and Beau Derek
And Beau Jest who were witty and smart
Beau Nidle, a right lazy b*****d
And an out-of-work actor Beau Gart

There were Beau Superkev and Beau Lucy
Beau Chop and Beau Sun Jihai
(His dad were Professor of Astro-Physics
At t’University of Shanghai)

But the bravest of all were Beau Psycho
A case-hardened battle-scarred brute;
Beau Berko, a sneaky attacker
And Beau Goat, who knew how to shoot

Our commander, Mon General Kevin
Led from the front, not the back
And said “If you want to get out of lee murdy
Best form of defence is attack”

Problem was all our Beaux heroes
Did not parlay-voo the same tongue
So while one or two read t’battle plan right
T’others had gorrit all wrong

It led to some early reverses
Which caused an initial surprise
When Tuaregs from West Brom and Norwich
Kicked b***dy sand in our eyes

Then a new legionnaire were enlisted
This one were called Beau Ali
He were a bazzin’ tactician
And when asked “Could we win?” said “Mezz wee”

“Mezz commerards of ze Blue Legion
Zeez Tuaregs we must defeat
If nous legionnaires cannot speak with nous gobs
Nous’ll just have to talk with nous feet”

“Sackray Blue!” cried Beau Dunny “Bejasus!
Your game plan will carry the day”
Then he ran down the flank like a Sherman tank
Till t’Tuaregs p****d off in dismay

So t’Blue Legion ran out of the fortress
Straight into the jaws of hell
(Bramhall Lane on a wet Tuesday night,
An’ Millmoor and Millwall as well)

Beau Dazzer he issued a challenge
To take ’em on, three at a time
He ran past ’em all and then hit the post
(A bit like Red Rum in his prime)

Beau Sean and Beau Danny were rampant
Beau Niclas and all t’other beaus
Were poppin’ ’em in from all angles
Givin’ t’ Tuaregs a right bloody nose

Well t’Tuaregs were soundly defeated
An’ properly put in their place
Mon General came out of the dug-out
With a big soppy grin on his face

“Mon dew, sacray Blue” said our leader
“Avant garde, sessy bun, trezz beans
Voulay voo kooshay avec mwa suh swar
(Whatever the hell that means)”

But t’lads o’t ‘Famous Blue Legion
Knew what he meant all right
There were going to be plenty more battles
And we’ll have some real Toe-Rags to fight

*Tuaregs: Nomadic Berbers of the Sahara. Pronounced ‘toe rags’ (well nearly)

RESULTS

Recent results: 21 April 2002

Birmingham City       2 - 0  Sheffield United      29,178
Burnley               1 - 0  Coventry City         18,751
Crewe Alexandra       2 - 0  Rotherham United       7,904
Manchester City       3 - 1  Portsmouth            34,657
Millwall              3 - 1  Grimsby Town          17,004
Norwich City          2 - 0  Stockport County      20,897
Preston North End     2 - 1  Nottingham Forest     17,390
Sheffield Wednesday   2 - 2  Wolverhampton Wndrs   29,772
Walsall               2 - 2  Bradford City          8,079
Watford               2 - 3  Gillingham            15,674
West Bromwich Albion  2 - 0  Crystal Palace        26,712
Wimbledon             0 - 1  Barnsley               5,379

Final League table

                             HOME          AWAY        OVERALL
                    P  W  D  L  F  A  W  D  L  F  A  W  D  L  F   A   GD Pts
 1 Manchester City 46 19  3  1 63 19 12  3  8 45 33 31  6  9 108  52  56  99
 2 West Brom A.    46 15  4  4 36 11 12  4  7 25 18 27  8 11  61  29  32  89
 3 Wolves          46 13  4  6 33 18 12  7  4 43 25 25 11 10  76  43  33  86
 4 Millwall        46 15  3  5 43 22  7  8  8 26 26 22 11 13  69  48  21  77
 5 Birmingham City 46 14  4  5 44 20  7  9  7 26 29 21 13 12  70  49  21  76
 6 Norwich City    46 15  6  2 36 16  7  3 13 24 35 22  9 15  60  51   9  75
 7 Burnley         46 11  7  5 39 29 10  5  8 31 33 21 12 13  70  62   8  75
 8 Preston N.E.    46 13  7  3 45 21  7  5 11 26 38 20 12 14  71  59  12  72
 9 Wimbledon       46  9  8  6 30 22  9  5  9 33 35 18 13 15  63  57   6  67
10 Crystal Palace  46 13  3  7 42 22  7  3 13 28 40 20  6 20  70  62   8  66
11 Coventry City   46 12  4  7 33 19  8  2 13 26 34 20  6 20  59  53   6  66
12 Gillingham      46 12  5  6 38 26  6  5 12 26 41 18 10 18  64  67  -3  64
13 Sheff. United   46  8  8  7 34 30  7  7  9 19 24 15 15 16  53  54  -1  60
14 Watford         46 10  5  8 38 30  6  6 11 24 26 16 11 19  62  56   6  59
15 Bradford City   46 10  1 12 41 39  5  9  9 28 37 15 10 21  69  76  -7  55
16 Nottm Forest    46  7 11  5 26 21  5  7 11 24 30 12 18 16  50  51  -1  54
17 Portsmouth      46  9  6  8 36 31  4  8 11 24 41 13 14 19  60  72 -12  53
18 Walsall         46 10  6  7 29 27  3  6 14 22 44 13 12 21  51  71 -20  51
19 Grimsby Town    46  9  7  7 34 28  3  7 13 16 44 12 14 20  50  72 -22  50
20 Sheff. Wed.     46  6  7 10 28 37  6  7 10 21 34 12 14 20  49  71 -22  50
21 Rotherham Utd.  46  7 13  3 32 29  3  6 14 20 37 10 19 17  52  66 -14  49
22 Crewe Alex.     46  8  8  7 23 32  4  5 14 24 44 12 13 21  47  76 -29  49
23 Barnsley        46  9  9  5 37 33  2  6 15 22 53 11 15 20  59  86 -27  48
24 Stockport C.    46  5  1 17 19 44  1  7 15 23 58  6  8 32  42 102 -60  26

MCIVTA FAQ [v1.7]

[0] MCIVTA Addresses

 Articles (Heidi Pickup)        : editor@mcivta.city-fan.org

 News/rumour (Don Barrie)       : djb1305@yahoo.co.uk

 Subscriptions (Geoff Donkin)   : subscriptions@mcivta.city-fan.org

 Technical problems (Paul)      : paul@city-fan.org

Comments concerning this FAQ should be sent to David Warburton using the address: mcivtafaq@warburton.org

[1] MCIVTA Deadlines

Deadlines for issues are nominally Monday and Thursday evenings.

[2] MCIVTA Back Issues and Manchester City Supporters’ home page

http://www.uit.no/mancity/ is the unofficial Manchester City Supporters’ home page. Created in 1994, it is the longest running of the Manchester City related web sites. Back issues of MCIVTA are also hosted on the site.

[3] Club Web Site

The official club web site can be found at http://www.mcfc.co.uk/

[4] Supporters’ Clubs

Manchester City FC recognises three supporters’ clubs: The “Official Supporters Club” (http://www.mancity.net/osc/index.html); the “Centenary Supporters’ Association” (http://www.callnetuk.com/home/sef/) and “The International Supporters’ Club” (http://www.mcfc.co.uk/extra/fanzone/isc.asp)

[5] Fans’ Committee

The Fans’ Committee operates as an interface between supporters and the club. It has its own website, http://www.mcfc-fans.com/ containing info about forthcoming meetings as well as minutes from previous gatherings.

[6] City of Manchester Stadium Progress/Web Cam

The latest information regarding the progress of our new home can be found at http://www.commonwealthgames.com/

[7] Match Day Broadcasts

Live match commentaries and archives of games, reports and interviews can be found here: http://www.mcfc.co.uk/comment.asp. An alternate live commentary service, hosted by Yahoo, is located at: http://uk.sports.yahoo.com/foot/audio/live/schedule/index.html. GMR Saturday Sport is also available live online between 1-3pm, and 4.45-6pm at http://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/sport/index.shtml

[8] City on TV

City’s games when broadcast on TV are generally carried by ITV Digital; http://www.itv-digital.co.uk/company/home/publocator/locator.html provides a list of pubs that will be showing the games.

Granada television also has the rights to show a small number of games from the North West region. As Sky now carry ITV regional services these matches can be watched outside the intended region by “adding” channels to your Sky Digital receiver. Under “services/system setup” enter the following details: Frequency 10.891 – H – 22.0 – 5/6. Select “find channels” and you will be given a list of the available ITV regions. From here select the regions you want to add. In order to view the channels you have added, you have to make your selection via “services/system setup/other channels”.

[9] Goals on the Net

http://www.citygoals.com/ has available for download, usually within 24-48 hours of a game being played, all the goals from City’s matches.

[10] 01/02 Season Match Day Theme Tune

The music the teams run out to at Maine Road this season is “Nightmare”, by Brainbug, and is available on the Positiva label.

[11] Acknowledgements

Thanks go to John Arnold for providing the information regarding match day music and to Ian Bell for pointing out the alternate live match commentary service.

DISCLAIMER
The views expressed in MCIVTA are entirely those of the subscribersand there is no intention to represent these opinions as being thoseof Manchester City Football Club, nor of any of the companies anduniversities by whom the subscribers are employed. It is not inany way whatsoever connected to the club or any other relatedorganisation and is simply a group of supporters using this mediumas a means of disseminating news and exchanging opinions.

Heidi Pickup, heidi@mcivta.freeserve.co.uk

Editor: